Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less. P. J. O'Rourke More Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke More Quotes From P. J. O'Rourke I bought my first house because of Animal House. P. J. O'Rourke houseanimalfirsts The complexity of economics can be calculated mathematically. Write out the algebraic equation that is the human heart and multiply each unknown by the population of the world. P. J. O'Rourke heartwritingworld Something that comes to us, some gym shoe that comes to us as a result of child labor from a brutal dictatorship, where people do not have basic freedoms, it wouldn't bug me to tax the living Dickens out of that thing or even to forbid its importation whatsoever. But that's a moral question, not an economic question. P. J. O'Rourke shoeschildrenpeople I couldn't have gotten into Harvard with a crowbar. P. J. O'Rourke harvard With the war in Iraq, I had the cooperation of the Department of Defense. Kuwait was pretty eager to get American journalists in there, to show us what a wonderful place they are, and what great allies they are to America, even though they didn't actually fight in the war. P. J. O'Rourke kuwaitfightingwar Any trade that is voluntarily made is mutually beneficial, by definition, and, indeed, is balanced, by definition. P. J. O'Rourke definitionstrademade The interesting thing about staring down a gun barrel is how small the hole is where the bullet comes out, yet what a big difference it would make in your social schedule. P. J. O'Rourke differencesguninteresting It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government, and I'm here to help." P. J. O'Rourke governmentlanguagehelping In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that when the official U.S. measure of poverty was developed in 1963, a poor American family had an income twenty-nine times greater than the average per capita income in the rest of the world. An individual American could make more money than 93 percent of the other people on the planet and still be considered poor. P. J. O'Rourke averagelongamerica Haitians weren't screwed-up, but everything political, intellectual, and material around them is. P. J. O'Rourke materialspoliticalintellectual This going on and on about how terrible a carbon-based economy is, these people are full of crap. They don't know what they're talking about. Their motives are not necessarily good just because they say they are being good. It's peace, love, and understanding. To which I can just say, "Shut up." Human liberty, rule of law, and free markets fix this stuff. It isn't necessary to go around being the Mia Farrow of the ecosphere. P. J. O'Rourke lawtalkingpeople Popular culture has become engorged, broadening and thickening until it's the only culture anyone notices. P. J. O'Rourke popular-cultureculture I'm not guaranteeing what we come up with will be better for the planet. There is ethanol, for instance, which actually nets out with more pollution at greater expense, and more harm to the environment than petroleum, but we'll come up with something. P. J. O'Rourke pollutionplanetsenvironment The Australian language is easier to learn than boat talk. It has a vocabulary of about six words. P. J. O'Rourke vocabularyhumorfunny There's a current notion that you should "take charge of your disease." No thanks. I'm busy. I've got cancer. I'm willing to face having cancer. I'm not willing to face having cancer with homework. I promised Dr. Pipas and Dr. Zaki that I wouldn't show up with sheaves of printouts from the Internet containing everything on Wikipedia on malignancies. They each laughed with detectable notes of relief. Although I suspect my wife has made her way into the health blog ether. Fish oil pills, raw kelp, and other untoward substances started showing up on dinner plates after I was diagnosed. P. J. O'Rourke canceroilwife Drugs have taught an entire generation of kids the metric system P. J. O'Rourke generationsdrugkids I figured if I could put together being funny about stuff and actual events, maybe I could do something that wasn't being done much. Because the reporters that I met out there were funny, and they had hilarious stories that just didn't fit in the AP/UPI/New York Times foreign-correspondent style. They couldn't use the things they had. But I could. P. J. O'Rourke stylenew-yorktogether I started reading Hunter S. Thompson when I was in college. P. J. O'Rourke huntersreadingcollege People shouldn't be treated like objects. They aren't that valuable. P. J. O'Rourke treatedvaluablepeople A cocktail party is what you call it when you invite everyone you know to come over to your house at six p.m., put cigarettes out on your rug, and leave at eight to go somewhere more interesting for dinner without inviting you. P. J. O'Rourke eightpartyinteresting
