Somewhere around the fifth or seventh grade I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me. But after a while it became part of my identity. Tina Fey More Quotes by Tina Fey More Quotes From Tina Fey You have to remember that actors are human beings. Which is hard sometimes because they look so much better than human beings. Tina Fey actors witty looks We should leave people alone about their weight. Being skinny for a while (provided you actually eat food and don't take pills or smoke to get there) is a perfectly fine pastime. Everyone should try it once, like a super-short haircut or dating a white guy. Tina Fey dating white people The topic of working moms is a tap-dance recital in a minefield. Tina Fey tap-dance topics mom Never tell a crazy person he’s crazy. Tina Fey crazy-person crazy persons there was an assumption that I was personally attacking Sarah Palin by impersonating her on TV. No one ever said it was 'mean' when Chevy Chase played Gerald Ford falling down all the time. No one ever accused Dana Carvey or Darrell Hammond or Dan Aykroyd of 'going too far' in their political impressions. You see what I'm getting at here. I am not mean and Mrs. Palin is not fragile. To imply otherwise is a disservice to us both. Tina Fey here-i-am mean fall I felt like that character in Flowers for Algernon. Not Charlie, the lady teacher from the college who realizes, 'I've got to stop dry-humping this mentally challenged guy! Tina Fey flower teacher character Either way, everything will be fine. But if you have an opinion, please feel free to offer it to me through the gap in the door of a public restroom. Everyone else does. Tina Fey doe doors witty We are a society that constantly celebrates no one but women and it must stop! I want to hear what the men of the world have been up to. What fun new guns have they invented? What are they raping these days? What’s Michael Bay’s next film going to be? Tina Fey gun fun men When I was going to school in, like, '84 to '88, you didn't have cell phones. There was no e-mail, if you can wrap your brain around that. Tina Fey phones cells school Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. Tina Fey virtue inexperience jobs Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes. Tina Fey quaaludes antiques ridiculous Yeah, it's tough being smart and sexy, too. I have to say, I'm really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date. I promise you it's true. My husband Jeff Richmond saw a diamond in the rough and took me in. Tina Fey smart sexy husband Last night the Taliban offered to release eight Westerners if the U.S. promised not to attack. The State Department declined but thanked the Taliban for the offer, saying it really felt good to laugh again. Tina Fey eight laughing night I think people fetishize glasses in general. You could put glasses on a rotting pumpkin and people would think it was sexy. Tina Fey sexy glasses thinking Researches reported that they developed a self-healing plastic that repairs itself if cracked. The plastic will change the way airplanes are built and medicine is practiced. In a related story, Joan Rivers will never die. Tina Fey change healing funny I became immersed in the cult of improvisation. I was like one of those athletes trying to get into the Olympics. It was all about blind focus. I was so sure that I was doing exactly what I'd been put on this earth to do, and I would have done anything to make it onto that stage. Tina Fey focus athlete trying The first time I went to see a Second City show, I was in awe of everything. I just wanted to touch the same stage that Gilda Radner had walked on. It was sacred ground. Tina Fey sacred cities firsts Boyhood proves that there's still good roles for women over 40, as long as you get hired when you're under 40. Tina Fey boyhood roles long North Korea threatened to attack if Sony Pictures released The Interview, forcing us all to pretend that we wanted to see it. Tina Fey sony korea interviews Sleep when your baby sleeps. Everyone knows this classic tip, but I say why stop there? Scream when your baby screams. Take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl. And walk around pantless when your baby walks around pantless. Tina Fey classic sleep baby
