Whenever you see me, I'm on antique quaaludes. Tina Fey More Quotes by Tina Fey More Quotes From Tina Fey Now every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Tina Fey girl sarcastic athlete And I can see Russia from my house. Tina Fey saturday-night-live russia house Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles. Tina Fey obstacles careers witty You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at. Tina Fey smart humor witty Why are my arms so weak? It's like I did that push-up last year for nothing! Tina Fey arms rocks years You go through big chunks of time where you're just thinking, 'this is impossible - oh,this is impossible'. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible. Tina Fey parenting humor inspiring A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss. Tina Fey boss baby school If you ever start to feel good about yourself... Tina Fey about-yourself internet feel-good Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion. Tina Fey delusion hilarious hard-work You've got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it. Tina Fey sweating Start with a 'Yes', and see where that takes you. Tina Fey bossypants So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you. Tina Fey funny-motivational witty inspirational Thomas Jefferson—another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings. Tina Fey white play boys There are no mistakes only opportunities. Tina Fey successful mistake inspirational To me YES, AND means don't be afraid to contribute. Always make sure you're adding something to the discussion. Your initiations are worthwhile. Tina Fey discussion worthwhile mean Don't waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions... Do your thing and don't care if they like it. Tina Fey confidence self-esteem motivational In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant Irish people. Tina Fey party sorry funny Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. Tina Fey adorable humor baby To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair. Tina Fey troll bridges witty If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?” Tina Fey hilarious inspiring inspirational
