The essence of humour is surprise; that is why you laugh when you see a joke in Punch. A. P. Herbert More Quotes by A. P. Herbert More Quotes From A. P. Herbert The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep. A. P. Herbert anniversary life funny The portions of a woman which appeal to man's depravity A. P. Herbert depravity care men Don't let's go to the dogs tonight, For mother will be there. A. P. Herbert tonight dog mother If nobody said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth. A. P. Herbert learning life science Elderly gentlemen, gentle in all respects, kind to animals, beloved by children, and fond of music, are found in lonely corners of the downs, hacking at sandpits or tussocks of grass, and muttering in a blind, ungovernable fury elaborate maledictions which could not be extracted from them by robbery or murder. Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behavior not otherwise excusable. A. P. Herbert lonely golf children People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament. A. P. Herbert humor funny people aven, I have given up smoking again!... God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps; but the lungs are fine. A. P. Herbert rude smoking men The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'. A. P. Herbert humor men funny Let's find out what everyone is doing, And then stop everyone from doing it. A. P. Herbert luck Citizens who take it upon themselves to do unusual actions which attract the attention of the police should be careful to bring these actions into one of the recognized categories of crimes and offences, for it is intolerable that the police should be put to the pains of inventing reasons for finding them undesirable. A. P. Herbert police citizens pain An act of God was defined as something which no reasonable man could have expected. A. P. Herbert miracle hope men A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso. A. P. Herbert sausage looks thinking Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain. Fancy giving money to the Government! Nobody will see the stuff again. Well, they've not idea what money's for- Ten to one they'll start another war. I've heard a lot of silly things, but, Lor'! Fancy giving money to the Government! A. P. Herbert money silly war There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once. Imagine how little good music there would be if, for example, a conductor refused to play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience might have heard it before. A. P. Herbert symphony play littles The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time. A. P. Herbert marriage time breakfast An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose. A. P. Herbert noble humorous purpose My ball is in a bunch of fern, A jolly place to be; An angry man is close astern- He waves his club at me. Well, let him wave-the sky is blue; Go on, old ball, we are but two-We may be down in three, Or nine-or ten-or twenty-five-It matters not; to be alive, Is good enough for me. A. P. Herbert blue golf men Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain. A. P. Herbert giving-money government business As my poor father used to say In 1963, Once people start on all this Art Goodbye, moralitee! And what my father used to say Is good enough for me. A. P. Herbert goodbye father art Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable. A. P. Herbert games golf men
