The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card. Mark Twain More Quotes by Mark Twain More Quotes From Mark Twain Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. Mark Twain work success inspirational When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. Mark Twain depression life funny In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language. Mark Twain humorous eye funny When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not. Mark Twain growing-up birthday memories Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. Fanatics will never learn that, though it be written in letters of gold across the sky. It is the prohibition that makes anything precious. Mark Twain gold sky people The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world is quite as good as Southern corn bread, and perhaps no bread in the world is quite as bad as the Northern imitation of it. Mark Twain southern world thinking Difference between savage and civilized man: one is painted, the other gilded. Mark Twain differences men civilization There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities! Mark Twain lonely loneliness dream To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. Mark Twain awards inspiration noise God made all the animals in a single day; he could have swept them all away in the flood and re-created them in one day when they were again needed. Therefore it was an odd idea to save specimens of them for eleven months in the ark, whilst aware that eight persons could not feed or water them by any human possibility. If they were to be preserved by miracle, the ark was not necessary - to let them swim would have answered the purpose and been more indubitably miraculous. Mark Twain eight animal ideas In religion, India is the only millionaire... the One land that all men desire to see, and having seen once, by even a glimpse, would not give that glimpse for all the shows of all the rest of the globe combined. Mark Twain land men past Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. Mark Twain funny-inspirational differences men He had an uncommon fondness for cats. As an old man summering in New Hampshire, Twain even rented kittens from a nearby farm to keep him company until he returned home. "If man could be crossed with the cat," said Twain, "it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat." There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends. Mark Twain inspirational-life cat home I simply can´t resist a cat, particularly a purring one. They are the cleanest, cunningest, and most intelligent things I know, outside of the girl you love, of course. Mark Twain cat intelligent girl I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it. Mark Twain scotch drinking night Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. Mark Twain marriage happiness friendship You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been. Mark Twain teach Don't look at the world with your hands in your pockets. To write about it you have to reach out and touch it. Mark Twain pockets writing hands Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German. Mark Twain german-language awful giving Men and women -- even man and wife are foreigners. Each has reserves that the other cannot enter into, nor understand. These have the effect of frontiers. Mark Twain marriage wife men