The founding fathers, in their wisdom, devised a method by which our republic can take one hundred of its most prominent numbskulls and keep them out of the private sector where they might do actual harm. P. J. O'Rourke More Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke More Quotes From P. J. O'Rourke The political process consists entirely of politicians talking out of their butts. P. J. O'Rourke politician political talking I can think of a number of areas in New York where three acres of nuclear waste would make the neighborhood safer to walk around in than it is now, and better lit. P. J. O'Rourke humorous new-york funny There are a lot of mysterious things about boats, such as why anyone would get on one voluntarily. P. J. O'Rourke sailing mysterious-things funny You can't shame or humiliate modern celebrities. What used to be called shame and humiliation is now called publicity. P. J. O'Rourke publicity shame acceptance There's nothing more oily and cynical in politics than telling the truth. P. J. O'Rourke cynical politics telling-the-truth Every pleasure you forgoe on Earth is a pleasure you won't get in heaven. P. J. O'Rourke pleasure earth heaven There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. P. J. O'Rourke basic-human-rights libertarian liberty I suspect the soviets never did want to use those bombs. The most Stalinist of Soviet hard-liners - Stalin, for example - must have realized a nuclear war would be a hard thing to clean up after. P. J. O'Rourke humorous war funny Liberals have a quaint and touching faith that truth is on their side and an even quainter faith that journalists are on the side of truth. P. J. O'Rourke touching sides funny I'm a member of the working press; you'd think I'd know better than to listen to journalists. P. J. O'Rourke journalism funny thinking Then there was LSD, which was supposed to make you think you could fly. I remember it made you think you couldn't stand up, and mostly it was right. P. J. O'Rourke make-you-think remember thinking Maybe a vague president and an incompetent and somewhat corrupt administration is what the nation needs. P. J. O'Rourke administration president needs The key ingredient of politics is the idea that all of society's ills can be cured politically. It's like a cookbook where the recipe for everything is to fry it. The fruit cocktail is fried. P. J. O'Rourke recipes keys ideas Rich white Protestant men have held on to some measure of power in America almost solely by getting women, blacks, and other disadvantaged groups to wear crippling foot fashions. This keeps them too busy with corns and bunions to compete in the job market. P. J. O'Rourke fashion power jobs Gambling is so pervasive in Nevada that maybe the state should just go the whole hog. There'd be gum machines that dispensed chewing tobacco if you lost. You could gamble for the toilet paper in public bathroom stalls. And fill out Keno cards in an attempt to win cancer therapy at the hospital. P. J. O'Rourke gambling cancer winning Keeping house is as unpleasant and filthy as coal mining, and the pay's a lot worse. P. J. O'Rourke coal house home Last year, on a long car trip, I was listening to Rush Limbaugh shout. I usually agree with Rush Limbaugh; therefore I usually don't listen to him. I listen to NPR: "World to end-poor and minorities hardest hit." I like to argue with the radio. P. J. O'Rourke npr long years No government proposal more complicated than "This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private" ever works. P. J. O'Rourke debt government complicated Australia is not very exclusive. On the visa application they still ask if you've been convicted of a felony - although they are willing to give you a visa even if you haven't been. P. J. O'Rourke australia humor funny The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. P. J. O'Rourke normal appearance looks
