The hardest thing in comedy is to have the biggest laugh at the end, and it’s the most satisfying thing. Jerry Seinfeld More Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld More Quotes From Jerry Seinfeld We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when the red light goes on. Jerry Seinfeld what-matterslightislands And I'll tell ya, I'm really enjoying this marriage thing. You think about each other. You care about each other. It's wonderful! Plus, I love saying 'my wife.' Once I started saying it, I couldn't stop - 'my wife' this, 'my wife' that...it's an amazing way to begin a sentence. Jerry Seinfeld wifecarethinking I love meeting Israeli people. They look at me like a son Jerry Seinfeld israelpeopleson If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire Jerry Seinfeld inspirationfirelying There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.' Jerry Seinfeld humormenfunny When someone does a small task beautifully, their whole environment is affected by it. Jerry Seinfeld environmenttasksdoe The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes. Jerry Seinfeld truth-iskeyboardstunes I didn't know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it's a musical. Jerry Seinfeld funny-marriagewifevoice I wonder is illiterate people know the full meaning of alphabet soup? Jerry Seinfeld alphabetsouppeople People don't think of their office as a workplace anymore. They think of it as a stationary store with Danish. You want to get your pastry, your envelopes, your supplies, your toilet paper, six cups of coffee, and you go home. Jerry Seinfeld coffeeworkfunny I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you'll hit it. Jerry Seinfeld essayswellsknows People don't just bump into each other and have sex. This isn't Cinemax. Jerry Seinfeld bumpssexpeople We got the hot fudge on the bottom.... that allows you to control the fudge distribution while you're eating your ice cream. Jerry Seinfeld fudgeice-creamhot It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything. Jerry Seinfeld hardinspirational You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. Jerry Seinfeld fishesknowsinspirational Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later; it's a relic. Jerry Seinfeld tvspeopleyears [I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who's ... normal ... I'm not curious, I'm not interested. Jerry Seinfeld normalkindpeople And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman. Jerry Seinfeld costumeskidsneeds Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it.... I think that the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up. Jerry Seinfeld life-ishairthinking Sometimes I think more creativity is put into muffin recipes than into the rest of society combined. Jerry Seinfeld creativityrecipesthinking
