The human brain doesn't come with an instruction manual. Bill Engvall More Quotes by Bill Engvall More Quotes From Bill Engvall If you're just a nice guy - you don't let people walk on you - but if you're just a nice guy and treat people right, good things happen. Bill Engvall walk good you people I love to laugh, and laughter is one of my favorite things. When you have a really good laugh, you feel great afterwards. Bill Engvall great good you love My favorite road trip ever is when my wife and I took an RV around the country. We just had the best time. Bill Engvall road best wife time I came out of the mall one day, and a guy was standing there with a coat hanger in his window, and I couldn't stop myself. I asked the stupid question. 'You lock your keys in the car?' 'Nope, just washed it, gonna hang it up to dry.' Bill Engvall day myself you car I learned that you don't take dishes from the table to the dishwasher; you have to rinse them first. I think that's stupid because I don't go out in the back yard and hose off before taking a shower. Bill Engvall go think you stupid I eat fish, chicken, vegetables and other healthier foods. I do love a great steak. Bill Engvall fish chicken great love I think you can ban guns if you can just pull the trigger and 60 bullets fire out. Bill Engvall guns think you fire There's a reason God didn't give me this success in my 20s, because I'd have blown it. Bill Engvall me god reason success I haven't been really nervous about a gig in a long time. Bill Engvall long-time nervous time long It's fun being Bill Engvall. Bill Engvall bill being fun Left to my own vices, all I would own is a Corvette, and it would be broken down. Bill Engvall down own my-own broken I'd like to see the Amazon rainforests before they're all gone, and also the Galapagos - that's another one I'd like to do. I'd love to go diving in those areas. Basically, places, like, that are kind of going away, and I'd like to see them before they all become condos and high-rises. Bill Engvall go see like love Europe has such an expansive history. Bill Engvall expansive europe history I travel fairly lightly because you have to these days. I always take a laptop and an iPod so I can watch movies and listen to music. And my Gameboy. That's a good time-killer. Bill Engvall good you music travel When I drove up on the set one day, and they'd put up a sign that says 'The Bill Engvall Show,' I stood there for 20 minutes just staring at it. The director, James Widdoes, came up and said, 'What are you doing?' And I said, 'Look at this! There's my name on a stage door in Hollywood!' Bill Engvall name day look you If you watch the 'Blue Collar Tour,' I was probably the least redneck of everybody. Bill Engvall tour you redneck blue My goal is for 'The Bill Engvall Show' to be a show the networks look at and say, 'Ooh, maybe we should get back to the family sitcom.' Bill Engvall say back look family You know as well as I do that the family sitcom was the stalwart of TV for God knows how many decades. Bill Engvall know you family god People are trying to figure out how to pay bills and make ends meet. They don't want to turn on the TV and say, 'What is this crap?' Bill Engvall meet want trying people It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy. Bill Engvall me you funny people