The lobbies of the new hotels and the Pan American Building exhale a chill as from the unopened Pharaonic tombs... And in their marble labyrinths there is an evil presence that hates warmth and sunlight. Russell Baker More Quotes by Russell Baker More Quotes From Russell Baker New York is the only city in the world where you can get run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian. Russell Baker cities new-york running When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools. Russell Baker car clever two It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status. Russell Baker funny-thanksgiving grandmother food There are good reasons why everybody should heed politicians' advise not to believe the media. One of the best is that the media report what politicians say. Russell Baker media reason-why believe The Government cannot afford to have a country made up entirely of rich people, because rich people pay so little tax that the Government would quickly go bankrupt. This is why Government men always tell us that labor is man's noblest calling. Government needs labor to pay its upkeep. Russell Baker men country people The charm of television entertainment is its ability to bridge the chasm between dinner and bedtime without mental distraction. Russell Baker dinner bridges television Grass is the least rewarding of all status symbols... The grass does nothing but drink money, exhaust energies, crush spirits, destroy sleep, create tensions and interfere with the watching of baseball games, and sprout insolent signs ordering humans to keep off it. Russell Baker crush baseball sleep A man doesn't amount to something because he has been successful at a third-rate career like journalism. It is evidence, that's all: evidence that if he buckled down and worked hard, he might some day do something really worth doing. Russell Baker careers successful men Few expected very much of Franklin Roosevelt on Inauguration Day in 1933. Like Barack Obama seventy-six years later, he was succeeding a failed Republican president, and Americans had voted for change. What that change might be Roosevelt never clearly said, probably because he himself didn't know. Russell Baker president might years Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity. Russell Baker publicity dies live-by Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the public, to its loss, reads very little of it. Russell Baker airports loss littles Etiquette is the grease that makes it possible for all of us to rub together without unnecessary overheating. Russell Baker grease moral together Journalism was being whittled away by a Wall Street theory that profits can be maximized by minimizing the product. Russell Baker profit journalism wall Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity. Russell Baker events humanity america A skillful playwright might have a good time with the story of the assassination of President William McKinley, and especially with the three most flamboyant political figures involved: Mark Hanna, Theodore Roosevelt, and Emma Goldman. Russell Baker political president stories I frankly admit to not knowing who I am. This is why I refuse to buy clothes that will tell people who I want them to think I am. Russell Baker clothes who-i-am thinking What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises. Russell Baker couple home tree It was Queen Elizabeth who made me a foreign correspondent. Russell Baker queen-elizabeth queens made Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when age finally stirs their curiosity, there is no parent left to tell them. Russell Baker parent birthday children Notice, for example, that people who talk about "the joys of childhood" are always adults. Only an adult, utterly remote from the reality of childhood, could suppose it is time of joys. Russell Baker children reality people
