The 'Star Wars' movie is coming out. Disney has kept the details of the movie under wraps because they're not Sony. Craig Ferguson More Quotes by Craig Ferguson More Quotes From Craig Ferguson It's tricky turning a book into a movie. Sometimes people love the book so much that no adaptation lives up to what they imagined. You can avoid that disappointment by never, ever reading books. Craig Ferguson disappointment reading book That's the thing about terrorism - it works. Especially for the terrorists - they might not get what they want but it feels damn good trying. Craig Ferguson want trying might The problem with suicide is that it seems so flamboyant. It's camp. You have to be a bit of a drama queen to ever seriously consider it. Craig Ferguson queens suicide drama Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit rock bottom? Craig Ferguson sober rocks might People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. Craig Ferguson lightning people The virus in the movie 'Contagion' is based on the bird flu which came out of nowhere back in 2008. Everyone thought it was going to change the way we live and it just faded away. Wait a minute, I'm talking about President Obama. Craig Ferguson waiting talking bird Saudia Arabia takes in half a trillion dollars every year in oil revenue, and the country has a population smaller than New York state, but when your system of government is an eleventh century monarchy, someone's going to end up poor, and it's not gonna be the guy whose first name is King. Craig Ferguson kings new-york country Mark Zuckerberg was named Time's Person of the Year. I'm sorry if you don't recognize the name. A magazine is something people used to read. Craig Ferguson zuckerberg sorry years A woman in Germany gave birth to a 13 1/2 pound baby. That baby was so fat his first word was strudel. Craig Ferguson germany baby firsts I think we look back at times past with fondness because we were younger. Life had not yet begun pecking away at our innocence like buzzards on fresh road kill. Craig Ferguson looks past thinking A lot of people in their 30's get nostalgic for their teen years. Then they get jobs in TV, become bitter and jaded and prematurely old. Then they turn their nostalgia into great television. Craig Ferguson jobs people years Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? Craig Ferguson flocks band remember Apple released the upgraded version of the iPhone 4, called the iPhone 4S. I think the S stands for suckers. Craig Ferguson apples iphone thinking Even though it's warm here in L.A., people still have to wear layers - at least until their plastic surgery heals. Craig Ferguson plastic layers people Here at CBS, spring also means March Madness. I love the name March Madness. I'm glad the PC police haven't made us change March Madness to early spring psychosis. Craig Ferguson psychosis spring mean A friend of mine that I was in a band with started me on Kafka, which in turn led to Camus and Sartre. Craig Ferguson turns mines band If you're frightened of leprechauns, the best thing to do is to get yourself a little leprechaun outfit and see how big they are. And then you'll go, 'Well I see. That's like bein' frightened of a hampster.' Craig Ferguson humor littles funny A casino in South Dakota was robbed by a man dressed as a mummy. The police described the suspect as anywhere between 25 and 8,000 years old. Craig Ferguson humor men funny People sometimes say to me: "Craig, get out of my garden." Craig Ferguson garden humor funny Wait! Don't applaud my cheapness! I've got other crap I need help with! Craig Ferguson humor waiting funny
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