There are almost as many definitions of co-dependency as there are experiences that represent it. Melody Beattie More Quotes by Melody Beattie More Quotes From Melody Beattie Today I will surrender to discipline. I realize that sometimes it takes time to see the fruits of my labors, yet I still need to practice discipline. Help me to remember, God, that I'm moving forward, and that I'm learning the very important art of discipline. Melody Beattie practice art moving Codependents are reactionaries. They overreact. They under-react. But rarely do they act. They react to the problems, pains, lives, and behaviors of others. They react to their own problems, pains, and behaviors. Melody Beattie pain behavior problem Gratitude can turn a meal into a feast. Melody Beattie fullness-of-life gratitude thanksgiving Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible for our pain, and we take responsibility for all our feelings. Melody Beattie pain real responsibility the more we are focused on controlling and changing others, the more unmanageable our life becomes. The more we focus on living our own life, the more we have a life to live, and the more manageable our life will become. Melody Beattie manageable our-lives focus The lesson I was learning involved the idea that I could feel compassion for people without acting on it. Melody Beattie compassion people ideas A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior. Melody Beattie codependent obsessed behavior No - simple to pronounce, hard to say. Melody Beattie hard simple ...the plan will happen in spite of us, not because of us. Melody Beattie spite plans meditation I didn't have to scramble up and down the ladder from despair to euphoria anymore, trying to convince myself that life was either painful and terrible or joyous and wonderful. The simple truth was that life was both. p 214 Melody Beattie despair simple trying Today I will realize that I'm powerless over other people's expectations of me. I'll think about what I want and consider that how I respond to others' needs will affect the course of my life. I will own my own power and choose the course that's right for me. Melody Beattie expectations people thinking Much of the time, the things we feel guilty about are not our issues. Another person behaves inappropriately or in some way violates our boundaries. We challenge the behavior, and the person gets angry and defensive. Then we feel guilty. Melody Beattie issues challenges way Sometimes compromise is important. Sometimes it's better to give in to someone else's wishes in order to have fun as a group or as a couple, or for the benefit of the team. Sometimes compromise is dangerous. We need to guard against compromising our standards to gain the approval or love of someone else. Decide when you can, and when you cannot, compromise. If it's not harmful and you are ambivalent about a decision, then compromise. If it could lead to breaking your values, compromise isn't a good idea. Melody Beattie team couple fun Life is always moving, changing, shifting into its next shape. The movement is natural. It is how we evolve. Let the shifts happen. Take responsibility for yourself each step of the way. Trust the new shape and form of your world Melody Beattie movement responsibility moving Our strength will continue if we allow ourselves the courage to feel scared, weak, and vulnerable. Melody Beattie scared vulnerable weak You don't have to search so hard for meaning and destiny. If you focus on keeping yourself clear and in balance and you live from your heart, destiny and your highest-good path will unfold naturally at your feet. Melody Beattie destiny feet heart Perspective will come in retrospect. Melody Beattie retrospect perspective We can stop picking on ourselves for picking on ourselvesWe can cherish ourselves and our lives. We can nuture ourselves and love ourselves. We can accept our wonderful selves, with all our faults, foibles, strong points, weak points, feelings, thoughts, and everything else. It's the best thing we've got going for us. It's who we are, and who we were meant to be. And it's not a mistake. We are the greatest thing that will ever happen to us. Believe it. It makes life much easier. Melody Beattie strong mistake believe Whatever we try to control does have control over us and our life. Melody Beattie our-lives doe trying We don't just get our choice; we get the consequence that choice creates. Melody Beattie our-choices consequence choices
