There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous. Mark Twain More Quotes by Mark Twain More Quotes From Mark Twain Monarchies, aristocracies, and religions....there was never a country where the majority of the people were in their secret hearts loyal to any of these institutions. Mark Twain heartcountrypeople Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. Mark Twain worksuccessinspirational When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. Mark Twain depressionlifefunny In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language. Mark Twain humorouseyefunny When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not. Mark Twain growing-upbirthdaymemories Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. Fanatics will never learn that, though it be written in letters of gold across the sky. It is the prohibition that makes anything precious. Mark Twain goldskypeople The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world is quite as good as Southern corn bread, and perhaps no bread in the world is quite as bad as the Northern imitation of it. Mark Twain southernworldthinking Difference between savage and civilized man: one is painted, the other gilded. Mark Twain differencesmencivilization There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities! Mark Twain lonelylonelinessdream To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. Mark Twain awardsinspirationnoise God made all the animals in a single day; he could have swept them all away in the flood and re-created them in one day when they were again needed. Therefore it was an odd idea to save specimens of them for eleven months in the ark, whilst aware that eight persons could not feed or water them by any human possibility. If they were to be preserved by miracle, the ark was not necessary - to let them swim would have answered the purpose and been more indubitably miraculous. Mark Twain eightanimalideas In religion, India is the only millionaire... the One land that all men desire to see, and having seen once, by even a glimpse, would not give that glimpse for all the shows of all the rest of the globe combined. Mark Twain landmenpast Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. Mark Twain funny-inspirationaldifferencesmen He had an uncommon fondness for cats. As an old man summering in New Hampshire, Twain even rented kittens from a nearby farm to keep him company until he returned home. "If man could be crossed with the cat," said Twain, "it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat." There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends. Mark Twain inspirational-lifecathome I simply can´t resist a cat, particularly a purring one. They are the cleanest, cunningest, and most intelligent things I know, outside of the girl you love, of course. Mark Twain catintelligentgirl I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it. Mark Twain scotchdrinkingnight Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. Mark Twain marriagehappinessfriendship You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been. Mark Twain teach Don't look at the world with your hands in your pockets. To write about it you have to reach out and touch it. Mark Twain pocketswritinghands Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German. Mark Twain german-languageawfulgiving
