There's a rumor that NBC is going to have Tom Brokaw fill in temporarily as the NBC News anchor. When asked why, a network spokesperson said, 'Because the only other NBC person we have is Bill Cosby.' Conan O'Brien More Quotes by Conan O'Brien More Quotes From Conan O'Brien Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly. Conan O'Brien alcohol party talking Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans. Conan O'Brien stars war new-day CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.' Conan O'Brien anchors crazy men During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage. Conan O'Brien marriage gay running Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me. Conan O'Brien graduation inspirational funny Every comedian dreams of hosting 'The Tonight Show' and, for seven months, I got to. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second. Conan O'Brien seven-months regret dream In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this is a quote, the research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have. Conan O'Brien alzheimers cells brain John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career. Conan O'Brien airplane careers doe I'd kill for 'somewhat frosty.' Conan O'Brien It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. Conan O'Brien dartmouth ideals unique The mayor of Newark, N.J. wants to set up a citywide program to improve residents' health. The health care program would consist of a bus ticket out of Newark. Conan O'Brien tickets care want Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob. Conan O'Brien differences white war One's dream is constantly evolving, rising and falling, changing course. This happens in every job, but because I have worked in comedy for twenty-five years, I can probably speak best about my own profession. Conan O'Brien dream jobs fall President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003. Isn't that amazing? Yes, and get this, not only that, President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003. Conan O'Brien president writing book The U.S. Census Bureau reports that American homes are 650 square feet larger today than they were in 1980. Unfortunately, so are most Americans. Conan O'Brien census-bureau squares home The British government has urged its citizens to abstain from alcohol at least two days a week. Or to make it easier to remember, whenever they brush their teeth. Conan O'Brien funny-drinking government two Arnold Schwarzenegger is in trouble after tapes surfaced of him saying negative things about other Republicans. Actually the Schwarzenegger tapes surfaced last year, but they weren't deciphered until this week. Conan O'Brien tape negative years According to a new survey, 40 percent of adults in Mexico say they would move to the United States if they got a chance. The number would have been higher, but the other 60 percent already live here. Conan O'Brien adults numbers moving Over-thinking in your brain is anathema to the process of thinking on your feet. Conan O'Brien feet brain thinking The results of a new study are out this week saying that New Jersey is one of the most livable states in the country. The study has a margin of error of 100 percent. Conan O'Brien jersey errors country
