There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'. Jim Gaffigan More Quotes by Jim Gaffigan More Quotes From Jim Gaffigan I like bowling. It's just one of those things where I can do so many jokes about it because I do know bowling. Somebody once said, "The whitest things in the world are Jim Gaffigan and bowling." Jim Gaffigan bowling said world I don't have any delusions. I'm not a novelist - I'm a comedian who writes. I love doing the stand-up and the touring and the albums and all that, but it's pretty amazing to go into a library and see your book there. Jim Gaffigan comedian writing book I should clarify that anyone that goes onstage and makes strangers laugh is insane. So I am insane. Jim Gaffigan insane stranger laughing A lot of people are like, "You're doing commercials?" And I honestly feel like those Sierra Mist commercials are better than a lot of sitcoms I get offered. It's hard work, and I'm paid a lot of money, and I do it because I love the soda. Jim Gaffigan soda hard-work people I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful. Jim Gaffigan successful sleep thinking I was always told that Hoosier came from when settlers in the state, when a stranger came on their property they'd say, "Who's there? Who's there?" So people that were from Indiana were the people that said "Who's there?" But what do I know? I don't read or interact with people outside the Internet. Jim Gaffigan hoosiers indiana people I think comedians get too much credit or too much criticism for the style of comedy they do, and they generally do the style of comedy that works for them. [...] There's no kind of shrewd calculation going into the type of standup we all do. It's like David Cross is supposed to be doing the David Cross' type of standup. Jim Gaffigan comedian style thinking There are a lot of good looking men on this planet. It seems like once a week someone will tell me, "I know someone who looks like you" and I don't know what say to them except, "Tell them hi." Jim Gaffigan like-you men looks Bacon bits are like the fairy dust of the food community. Jim Gaffigan community dust food I always seem to be chosen to do very flattering things like the beard comb over or go to the bathroom with the door open on Sex and the City or be the guy people meow at in Super Troopers. It's great for self esteem. Jim Gaffigan self-esteem doors sex I've had plenty of friends tell me that their first time doing stand-up, they do well, and then they tank for a while after that. Kind of like the first time you do a drug, you're like, "Huh! This is pretty darn good," and then you spend all your money trying to get the same high. Jim Gaffigan tanks drug trying I always imagine that if I met Dr. Seuss, he would be very similar to Crispin Glover. Jim Gaffigan drs imagine would-be I'm much more interested in making people laugh than getting applause breaks. Jim Gaffigan break laughing people There's a certain balance between finding an opportunity to do what you really enjoy and getting caught up in the flattery of people wanting you to do things. Jim Gaffigan balance opportunity people I think it's important to control your opportunities, because in the entertainment world, it's not up to you. I'm not sitting here under this naïve belief that someone in Hollywood is going, "Gaffigan! What kind of a show can I build around him?" So you have to find things that can showcase your point of view. Jim Gaffigan views opportunity thinking I don't know if I'm the husky guy, but I'm the sexy guy who's a good kisser . Jim Gaffigan huskies sexy guy I was raised in a family where my father was the first one to go to college. Jim Gaffigan college father firsts I don't want to get involved in the culture war. Religion's iffy. Jim Gaffigan want war culture I grew up in Sheepshead Bay. Jim Gaffigan grew grew-up I think that there's part of me that feels like maybe I should have been more social. Jim Gaffigan social should-have thinking
