These pretzels are making me thirsty! Jerry Seinfeld More Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld More Quotes From Jerry Seinfeld It's sad and incomprehensible. Jerry Seinfeld top-news The Internet offers opportunities that are more unique than ever before. With TV, I know I'm making 22 minutes; I know there's a commercial in the middle. With the Internet, no one knows anything. No rules. Jerry Seinfeld rules know internet unique To a guy like me, a laugh is full of information. Jerry Seinfeld laugh like me information Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested. Jerry Seinfeld live you funny world We've fallen into a trap of ever-widening orbits of contact, and there is a total disregard for the present moment. Jerry Seinfeld present moment present-moment contact There's different kinds of laughs. It's like a baseball lineup: this guy's your power hitter, this guy gets on base, this guy works out walks. If everybody does their job, we're gonna win. Jerry Seinfeld your job win power I like money, but it's never been about the money. Jerry Seinfeld about never like money Crankiness is at the essence of all comedy. My wife and I were discussing the different types of cranky. There's entertaining cranky, annoying cranky, angry cranky. Jerry Seinfeld angry comedy wife different My mom was so amazing, she was a great sister, friend and artist. She was more than what you saw on TV. Everyone says that when you met her, it felt like you’d known her for a lifetime. That’s just who she was. My dad [baseball pitcher Chuck Finley] said at the service that she knew no stranger. … She was just dynamite. She was born to make people smile. Jerry Seinfeld Yes, it does, to me it's anti-comedy. It's more about PC-nonsense. Jerry Seinfeld I remember I was in a cab one time and the cab driver said to me, ‘Why did you stop doing that show? It was very successful.' And I and I said to him, well, I was at a point we had done it for nine years and I realized I could go off the air right now and the show could be a legend. I could be a legend of the sitcom world or I could make some more money. I could risk that to make some more money. I said, what would you do? He said, 'I'd go for legend.' I said, Yeah, that's what I thought. So we went for a legend. Jerry Seinfeld It's just hard to be funny, everybody kind of thinks they're funny or wants to be funny, but even the people that are great at being funny aren't funny a lot of the time because it's just a tricky, subtle thing that evokes that response of laughter [from an audience]. Jerry Seinfeld I don't watch the show, how often have you pulled out your high school yearbook? Jerry Seinfeld