Video piracy is among the most irritating aspects of modern life for those who work in the film business. Adverts telling you not to commit video piracy are among the most irritating aspects of modern life for those who don't. Victoria Coren Mitchell More Quotes by Victoria Coren Mitchell More Quotes From Victoria Coren Mitchell MY INSPIRATION has always been Jeanne Calment, a Frenchwoman who smoked and drank every day and died a few years ago at the age of 122. When asked the secret of her longevity, she replied: 'I laugh a lot.' Well you would, wouldn't you. Victoria Coren Mitchell inspirationlaughingyears If you want to gnaw greenery in the morning for health reasons, do it in your own home with the curtains drawn. Victoria Coren Mitchell wanthomemorning The key to nature's therapy is feeling like a tiny part of it, not a master over it. There's amazing pride in seeing a bee land on a flower you planted - but that's not your act of creation, it's your act of joining in. Victoria Coren Mitchell feelingyounatureflower I have a complicated relationship with the zoo; maybe everyone does. It's so wonderful and so sad. Victoria Coren Mitchell zoosadcomplicatedrelationship Driving a car is no longer about zooming down clear lanes, the joy and freedom of the road flowing through your hair like a fine westerly breeze. It's about solid traffic, petrol fumes, spy cameras, eco-guilt, and simultaneous social media. Victoria Coren Mitchell social-mediacarfreedomhair After a bath, we all love to dry off with a towel. But do we need it to survive? No. It's a luxury. Victoria Coren Mitchell bathsurviveluxurylove Casino games such as roulette, blackjack, baccarat, slot machines and so on, are stacked in favour of the house. Victoria Coren Mitchell casinomachinesgameshouse Nature made your eyebrows like that for a reason. I don't know the reason. Some people say it's to do with keeping rain out of monkeys' eyes. Whatever. The point is, if you try to redesign your eyebrows with tweezers and pens, it will look terrible. Victoria Coren Mitchell eyesyounaturerain I'm too short-sighted, too squeamish for contact lenses and too vain for glasses. Victoria Coren Mitchell toocontactvainglasses When I was learning to drive, I thought the big milestones were changing gear, changing lane, and three-point-turns. Victoria Coren Mitchell milestonesdrivethoughtlearning People have become desperate to reduce everything, including each other, to mindless categories of good and bad, as if the world can be divided into Facebook likes and dislikes. Victoria Coren Mitchell badgoodpeopleworld Weight gain is good because it makes your dresses tight. This is not necessarily classy or flattering, but it means you don't have to iron anything. Victoria Coren Mitchell classyyourgoodyou Women are under-represented in TV comedy for a variety of reasons, the hackneyed 'fear that women aren't funny' being one of them. Victoria Coren Mitchell womencomedyfearfunny I grew up near London Zoo, with which I was obsessed. I would lie in bed at night, thinking about the lions and tigers and wolves that were prowling only a few miles away. Victoria Coren Mitchell wolveslienightthinking I've always hated the idea of carrying grudges and resentments around like a load of mouldy suitcases. Victoria Coren Mitchell grudgeslikealwayshated I like the fact that the weather forecast is always wrong. In a world of BlackBerry insta-connection, Google research, and Hadron Colliders, it is a daily reminder of the ultimate ignorance of man. It is a signpost towards all the enormous things we cannot understand. Victoria Coren Mitchell dailymanweatherworld You will enjoy the TV and radio forecast much more if you stop taking it as advice and simply treat it as a short poem about the weather. Victoria Coren Mitchell treatyouenjoyweather It is impossible to identify a nice scent from within the chemical cloud of a perfume department. Victoria Coren Mitchell cloudperfumeniceimpossible If you are actually ordinary, the only way to give royal status meaning is to live an extraordinary life. It can't be jeans and burgers and granny doing the babysitting. Victoria Coren Mitchell liveyoulifeway I'm no longer bossy in the honest sense; I've mastered (mistressed) the art of passive-aggression. Victoria Coren Mitchell sensebossyhonestart
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