We all fear change, even as we seek it. Harriet Lerner More Quotes by Harriet Lerner More Quotes From Harriet Lerner deception and 'con games' are a way of life in all species and throughout nature. Organisms that do not improve their ability to deceive - and to detect deception - are less apt to survive. Harriet Lerner deception games way Men are often (though not always) the pursuers for sex, just like women are often (though not always) the pursuers for conversation. Harriet Lerner conversation men sex Self-help books for women are part of a multibillion-dollar industry, sensitively attuned to our insecurities and our purses. Harriet Lerner insecurity self book Underground issues from one relationship or context invariably fuel our fires in another. Harriet Lerner issues fuel fire Throughout evolutionary history, anxiety and fear have helped every species to be wary and to survive. Fear can signal us to act, or, alternatively, to resist the impulse to act. It can help us to make wise, self-protective choices in and out of relationships where we might otherwise sail mindlessly along, ignoring signs of trouble. Harriet Lerner self wise fear As long as we can feel hope, there is hope. Harriet Lerner hope feels long If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics. Harriet Lerner distance fundamentals law I'm a good example of wanting to apologize only for my precise share of a problem--as I calculate it, of course--and I expect my husband Steve to apologize for his share, also as I calculate it. Since we're not always of one mind on the math, it can lead to the theater of the absurd. Harriet Lerner husband mind math It's remarkable how many couples can precisely describe their particular pattern of painful fighting, and claim to be helpless to change it. Harriet Lerner patterns couple fighting Fear has never helped anybody make good choices. It leads to clinging when we should be walking. Harriet Lerner clinging choices should My debt to feminism is simply incalculable. Feminism allowed me to see past a 'reality' that I had once taken as a given. It helped me to pay attention to countless voices, my own included, that I had been taught 'don't count.' Feminism allows me to maintain hope. Harriet Lerner taken reality past Before modern feminism, stories of female ambition were silenced or erased; even now, they are told with apology ("Yes, it's a great honor to be a Nobel Prize laureate, but really, what I love best is staying home and being a mother to Kevin and Annie"). Harriet Lerner ambition mother home If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the ritual brushing of teeth. It's not realistic to believe that you will live your promises as a daily practice -- unless you're a saint or a highly evolved Zen Buddhist. Not where marriage is concerned. But you can make a practice of returning to your vows when the going gets rough. Harriet Lerner buddhist morning believe
