We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf. Bob Hope More Quotes by Bob Hope More Quotes From Bob Hope The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. Bob Hope dietinggood-friendweight-loss No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties Bob Hope partywittytwo I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful. Bob Hope laughtercaringfunny I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected. Bob Hope political-jokesjokespolitical With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films. Bob Hope silent-filmslanguagetoday I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. Bob Hope inspirationallifefunny I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money. Bob Hope moneyfunnyamerica My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that? Bob Hope xmasholidaychristmas When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness. Bob Hope laughterhappinessinspirational A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. Bob Hope hilarioussarcasticfunny I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them. Bob Hope american-politicsjokespresident I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die. I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny. Bob Hope veterans-dayhusbandbrother I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap. Bob Hope agenapsbirthday I don't know what people have against government; they haven't done anything. Bob Hope governmentdonepeople Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens. Bob Hope hopegolffunny I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage. Bob Hope luggagefunny-travelflying You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope happy-birthdayhumorousfunny Where else but in America could the women's liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support? Bob Hope supportcomplainingamerica I can still chase women, only downhill Bob Hope i-canstills The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off. Bob Hope pissed-offnewsjesus
