We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins. David Cross More Quotes by David Cross More Quotes From David Cross I do not want to encourage heckling and outbreaks at all. David Cross heckling outbreaks want I stand by everything I said. I absolutely can defend my material, and I take issue with people who say, "It's just shock value. It's not even funny." I disagree. There's different ways to be funny and to be a comedian. David Cross comedian issues people Aqua Teen Hunger Force is one of the funniest shows on TV and I was a little intimidated working with those guys 'cause you're in a sound booth by yourself and they're all in a room in Atlanta. David Cross aqua atlanta guy I have always tried to use humor to "help ever" and "hurt never," for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted. David Cross humor hurt funny All my friends are always telling me how hard it is to have kids. 'Oh, David, it's so hard.' That's not hard. I'll tell you what hard is. Try talking your girlfriend into her third consecutive abortion. Yeah, that's hard, that takes finesse. You're just inconvenienced. David Cross girlfriend humor funny I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end. David Cross new-york believe people I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational. David Cross gay humor funny There is also a kind of mean-spiritedness with LA comics. David Cross kind mean What happened to our friendship? I really think it's our obligation as friends to be brutally honest and be frank with them and say, 'Look, I'm sorry, but your baby is fking boring.' David Cross sorry baby thinking What President of the Airline is doing is, he's urging everyone to give up their frequent flyer miles for sick kids... But as I was reading this, there were two empty seats next to me. Why can't sick kids sit there? If they're so concerned with sick kids, shouldn't they have like a pen of sick kids next to the gate? David Cross giving-up reading funny I think I'd be a really good dad. So perhaps I'm doing society a disservice by not having as many kids as possible. David Cross dad kids thinking You have to have some level of attachment, you can still have passion and believe but it has to be softened somewhat. David Cross passion attachment believe I did one of the worst shows for that kind of thing in Northampton, Massachusetts, which is one of the most liberal spots on the planet. There were numerous people who walked out, somebody had thrown a beer, I had people yelling and screaming. David Cross yelling beer people I know this is obviously biased as well, but in my Twitter feed, on my Facebook, 90 percent are gushing, glowing, "Thank you for doing that" - type of reviews. "It's ballsy, it's honest, it's hilarious" - that kind of stuff. Obviously those are fans. David Cross glowing fans stuff There is nothing interesting about just seeing me doing the show then seeing the fans and how much people love me. David Cross fans people interesting Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English. David Cross humor eye funny I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are. David Cross party war funny Florida was the low point.The entire state, yep. I'm not sure I'd go back. David Cross florida states lows Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff, you get people going, "I didn't come here to have my political views bashed." David Cross political views people There were a handful of shows that were just painful. Not many, but things where I just said going into it, "Why am I here? What am I doing?" David Cross painful shows said
