Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it's known at my house, Passover. Bob Hope More Quotes by Bob Hope More Quotes From Bob Hope America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold. Bob Hope humorous funny country A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. Bob Hope hope love funny One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever. Bob Hope balls laughter forever I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons. Bob Hope humorous littles funny If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right. Bob Hope ifs golf thinking Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for. Bob Hope united-states president people I've always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It's an island and the audience can't run very far. Bob Hope humorous running funny You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages. Bob Hope reading funny book I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie. Bob Hope caddies golf lying The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government. Bob Hope government humorous funny I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105. Bob Hope ifs age golf Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass. Bob Hope player golf sports Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering. Bob Hope suffering drinking night Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother. Bob Hope bed brother mother You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry. Bob Hope raspberries fans letters It's a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you'll be able to watch it all on TV. Bob Hope may watches world I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do? Bob Hope taxes should years Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me. Bob Hope appreciate want war If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it. Bob Hope eggs funny country Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued. Bob Hope comedy wonderful kids
