Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor. Adam Carolla More Quotes by Adam Carolla More Quotes From Adam Carolla California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart. Adam Carolla california school fall You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting. Adam Carolla humor home funny [Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month. Adam Carolla government giving people It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing. Adam Carolla rich poor men The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel. Adam Carolla creative reading book Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show. Adam Carolla form shapes way To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do. Adam Carolla honestly ability important Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do. Adam Carolla women thinking We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior. Adam Carolla animal sex thinking A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go. Adam Carolla paper practice people It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants. Adam Carolla underpants july I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex. Adam Carolla men sex thinking The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car. Adam Carolla car beautiful art I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind. Adam Carolla humor funny two Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian. Adam Carolla humor funny thinking When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy! Adam Carolla kings funny sex I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial. Adam Carolla ice-cream pie thinking I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other. Adam Carolla connections emotional mom I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts. Adam Carolla lazy vote I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances. Adam Carolla car noses running
