When I'm funny is when I'm angriest. Lewis Black More Quotes by Lewis Black More Quotes From Lewis Black In New York, f*** isn't even a word. It's a comma. Lewis Black new-york Saying that the Palestinian people aren't really a people - that's not a zany thing to say. That's a psychotic thing to say in the midst of all of the politics we live through on a daily basis. Lewis Black midstpsychoticpeople I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet. Lewis Black appleslife-is-likethinking I don't believe pumpkin pie is even made from pumpkin. I mean, how can something that smells that shitty make a pie so sweet? There's not enough sugar in the universe. Lewis Black sweetfunnybelieve Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap. Lewis Black swimminghumorfunny My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter. Lewis Black labsninefather Macs are not intuitive. It's intuitive to the person who created it. It's not intuitive to me. Lewis Black intuitivemacspersons Kids seem to get me when I play colleges - they like it because I go after them. They'll come up after and say I am like their dads, only funny. Lewis Black dadcollegekids Janeane Garofalo ended up, in a sense, being pushed by the media into becoming a pundit. Lewis Black punditsbecomingmedia I had more material on weather than anyone else, I guess, ... back when I was traveling a lot on the road as a standup comic, between airport security and the weather... I just wanted to be prepared for sitting in the airport. Lewis Black airportshumorfunny I had an iPhone and a Droid and both of them were miserable pieces of equipment. Lewis Black miserableiphonepieces In Canada I'm not dealing with people who are bringing in baggage, they just get it. But New Orleans will be a bit different. If there's a group of people who have a right to be bitter, it's the people of New Orleans. Lewis Black new-orleansdifferentpeople I've always been a social network retard, even before there was a social network. People would say, "You want to go to this party and do some networking?" Lewis Black partywantpeople Stupidity really gets me going, when it's just plain stupid, obvious stupidity. And I think that's the reason my act has become more political. I've become somewhat more of a political comic because the level of stupidity I've watched is staggering. Lewis Black politicalstupidthinking Every other civilized country has determined when life begins and it's something that eludes us. We've got things that have to be done! "We didn't fix that bridge because you are all down at the meeting house discussing abortion again." Lewis Black elude-usbridgescountry When you're done [with writing a book], people tell you "Well, gee, I'm not interested." "Great, I'm glad I sat down and wrote this!" Lewis Black writingbookpeople I never write anything down. I write onstage. Lewis Black writing I really wanted to talk about the War on Terror and say that both sides were completely incompetent [in addressing it]. You can't blame the other side when you're involved in it. Lewis Black blamesideswar I had to watch the Republican stuff which makes me feel even older than I am. By the time I get through the Democrats, I may be dead. I don't know how much older I can get. Lewis Black stuffmaywatches The tortoise moves very slowly, it moves towards whatever the goal is, to keep a democratic capitalistic society functioning. Lewis Black tortoisesgoalmoving
