When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Henny Youngman More Quotes by Henny Youngman More Quotes From Henny Youngman A tough guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead." I was afraid to bet him. Henny Youngman guy humor funny A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student. Henny Youngman teaching teacher men He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face. Henny Youngman humor men funny This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number. Henny Youngman humor numbers funny Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us! Henny Youngman hitting behinds Farrah's dressing room was next to mine. There was a little hole in the wall. I let her look. Henny Youngman wall humor funny A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady? Henny Youngman want doors men She has a wash and wear bridal gown. Henny Youngman gowns humor funny I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium. Henny Youngman humor jobs funny I bought my wife a little Italian car. A Mafia. It has a hood under the hood. Henny Youngman italian humor funny My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there twice a week. Henny Youngman wife humor funny Old teachers never die, they just grade away. Henny Youngman assessment teaching teacher Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower. Henny Youngman okay humor funny I asked a Jewish man, "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said, "Yes", and walked away. Henny Youngman humor men funny Let's get up here before we get killed! Henny Youngman get-up I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby. Henny Youngman hilarious mother funny She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face. Henny Youngman comedy marriage faces If, as the scientist say, sex is such a driving force, why is so much of it nowadays found parked? Henny Youngman humorous funny sex My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him. Henny Youngman family humor funny The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail. Henny Youngman lovely humor funny