When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other si... by Bill Hicks

When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.

Bill Hicks

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Categorized in : Two Funny Humor

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

revolutionary-ideas laughter happiness

Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick--'You hate this country'....I have to tell him...I just hate being lied to.

dad hate country

Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.

tvs causes sound

I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it.

dallas texas museums

I've had seven balls of light come off a UFO...explain to me telepathically we are all one and there's no such thing as death.

seven balls light

So, it's good to be here, wherever I am. by Bill Hicks

So, it's good to be here, wherever I am.

I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last ti... by Bill Hicks

I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.

lasts hate world

I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, "Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest." This guy was reaching. I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don't

light new-york thinking

A Christian will say... "I believe God created me in one day" Yea... by Bill Hicks

A Christian will say... "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks liked He rushed it.

one-day christian believe

I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.' Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?

humor funny people

I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself - to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.

heart writing believe

What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.

comic wall steps

I'll tell you how to solve this abortion thing...Those unwanted babies...? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.

abortion steps baby

The CIA has a plot...they've used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem...is convincing Hussein...to fly to Dallas.

dallas plot leader

On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did."

theft materials people

They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer by Bill Hicks

They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer

docile apathetic want

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?

weed humor funny

I am available for children's parties, by the way. by Bill Hicks

I am available for children's parties, by the way.

party children way

I've learned a lot about women. I think I've learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we'll never age, we'll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah... it's just not enough is it?

We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it.

baghdad people thinking