When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic. Jane Wagner More Quotes by Jane Wagner More Quotes From Jane Wagner The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool. Jane Wagner womensuccessfunny It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. Jane Wagner beliefcomplainingneeds I worry that our lives are like soap operas. We can go for months and not tune in to them, then six months later we look in and the same stuff is still going on. Jane Wagner tunesgoalworry Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Jane Wagner small-gesturesimpactpower If olive oil comes from olives, then where does baby oil come from? Jane Wagner humorbabyfunny You don't know what it's like! Hyperactive twins! When they turned three, my doctor prescribed Ritalin -- I wouldn't dream of giving a drug to my children, but it does help when I take it myself. Jane Wagner doctorsdreamchildren Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself. Jane Wagner delusions-of-grandeurillusions-of-grandeurfunny One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist. Jane Wagner atheistspiritualscience Nothing makes you realize you don't know what you want more than getting what you want. Jane Wagner getting-what-you-wantrealizingknows I made some studies, and reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. I can take it in small doses, but as a lifestyle, I found it too confining. It was just too needful; it expected me to be there for it all the time, and with all I have to do--I had to let something go. Jane Wagner stresscausesreality The truth can be made up if you know how. Jane Wagner know-howmadeknows My mom says I have to be more positive, and I say life has to be more positive too or it's just not going to work. Jane Wagner going-to-workmy-mommom I feel like my life is just passing me by like two ships in the night. And I have missed both boats. Jane Wagner failurenighttwo Just think: your family are the people most likely to give you the flu. Jane Wagner givingpeoplethinking A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential? Jane Wagner womenoptimisticmemorable I worry that drugs have forced us to be more creative than we really are. Jane Wagner drugcreativeworry Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent. Jane Wagner intelligenttalkingfunny Childhood comes at a time in your life when you are too young to understand what you are going through. And you're too young to understand that you are too young to understand. Jane Wagner childhoodyoung What you try to bury just ends up burying you. Jane Wagner denialendstrying I even worry about reflective flea collars. Oh, sure, drivers can see them glow in the dark, but so can the fleas. Jane Wagner fleasdarkworry
