Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up. Ogden Nash More Quotes by Ogden Nash More Quotes From Ogden Nash Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. Ogden Nash fridaybirthdayfunny The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly. Ogden Nash pressureminddoors I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned. Ogden Nash humormenfunny Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental. Ogden Nash dental-workteethfunny Time is so old and love so brief, love is pure gold and time a thief. We're late, darling, we're late, The curtain descends, everything ends, too soon, too soon. Ogden Nash and-lovegoldlove-is So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and combat Ogden Nash wifehusbandbelieve Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. Ogden Nash funny-birthdaymarriagerelationship Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit. So here we are several billion of us, crowded into our global concentration camp for the duration. How are we to survive? Solemnity is not the answer, any more than witless and irresponsible frivolity is. I think our best chance lies in humor, which in this case means a wry acceptance of our predicament. We don't have to like it but we can at least recognize its ridiculous aspects, one of which is ourselves. Ogden Nash acceptancemeanlying There was a young man of Herne Bay Ogden Nash smokingmenfunny Remorse is violent dyspepsia of the mind. Ogden Nash remorseviolentmind Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long. Ogden Nash progressgonelong I think that I shall never see Ogden Nash inspirationfallthinking If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. Ogden Nash crazymoneyfunny Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them. Ogden Nash debt-freeowing-a-debtfun There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction. Ogden Nash headingsprogresslifetime One thing that literature would be greatly the better for Ogden Nash employmentliteraturewould-be There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin. Ogden Nash dancingtruththinking The truth I do not stretch or shove Ogden Nash testsstatesdog I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew. Ogden Nash shrewstruth-isdrinking Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. Ogden Nash drinkingbeerfunny
