Why would I want to join an organization that would encourage people like myself to become members. Groucho Marx More Quotes by Groucho Marx More Quotes From Groucho Marx I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how! Groucho Marx kicksteachneeds Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made. Groucho Marx crazysillyfunny Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill. Groucho Marx crazylovefunny There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire! Groucho Marx ageworkretirement I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members. Groucho Marx clubswantpeople Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans. Groucho Marx sexyrealfunny You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer. Groucho Marx lawyershy Hey you! I told you to slow that nag down! Because of you, I almost heard the opera! Groucho Marx because-of-youoperahey Hello, I must be going. Groucho Marx helloinspiration I started smoking as soon as I went on the stage. I'd make cigars out of the Morning World when I was a kid. Groucho Marx smokingmorningkids Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week. Groucho Marx funny-lovesillywriting As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife. Groucho Marx crazysillyfunny Would you mind getting off that fly paper and giving the flies a chance?" "Ahhh, you can't trick me! Flies don't read papers! Groucho Marx papermindgiving I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin. Groucho Marx wittyfunnysex Mrs. Teasdale calls for rescue and Firefly delivers the famous line to his cohorts as they rescue her: "Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx womenfireflyfighting You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency to have! Groucho Marx brotherwittyfunny I think that the Peeps or Peppies or Pipes diaries would be much more popular had there been a universal pronuncation of his name. Groucho Marx would-benamesthinking He thinks I look alike! Groucho Marx looksthinking If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower. Groucho Marx humorousinspirationfunny The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters. Groucho Marx humorlossfunny
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