Terry Pratchett: Yes, sir, thank you, sir, and I wouldn’t trust me one...

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

Terry Pratchett

humorous funny people

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Terry Pratchett

spiritual inspirational life

The universe is, instant by instant, recreated anew. There is in truth no past, only a memory of the past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. Therefore, the only appropriate state of the mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.

Terry Pratchett

eye heart memories

What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.

Terry Pratchett

criminals average men

If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.

Terry Pratchett

trust motivational funny

Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.

Terry Pratchett

life-changing change travel

...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.

Terry Pratchett

suicide birthday death

It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

Terry Pratchett

depressing self thinking

Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.

Terry Pratchett

good-omens evil-people fantasy

There have been times, lately, when I dearly wished that I could change the past. Well, I can’t, but I can change the present, so that when it becomes the past it will turn out to be a past worth having.

Terry Pratchett

turns wells past

No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away.

Terry Pratchett

remembrance memories death

Everyone should occasionally break the law in some small and delightful way. It's good for the hygiene of the brain.

Terry Pratchett

hygiene law brain

Not all questions are answered, but fortunately some answers are questioned.

Terry Pratchett

answers

A good plan isn't one where someone wins, it's where nobody thinks they've lost.

Terry Pratchett

winning inspirational thinking

"Multiple exclamation marks," he went on, shaking his head, "are a sure sign of a diseased mind."

Terry Pratchett

discworld exclamation-marks mind

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

Terry Pratchett

ankh funny people

Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.

Terry Pratchett

crowds remember people

Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.

Terry Pratchett

good-luck bed men

Goodness is about what you do. Not who you pray to.

Terry Pratchett

snuff goodness praying

Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.

Terry Pratchett

wisdom-experience wisdom-and-experience life

Yes, sir, thank you, sir, and I wouldn’t trust me one little inch, sir. I knows a bad one when I sees them. I have a mirror.