You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you. Dane Cook More Quotes by Dane Cook More Quotes From Dane Cook I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school Dane Cook legs shoes school When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true. Dane Cook swear-to-god swear right-now What happens in Vegas, I'm telling everyone. Dane Cook vegas happens adventure I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy. Dane Cook twelve book years Every time you come in from cheating on someone, they'll just whip out the most adorable term of endearment. Like, they'll wake up, bright and early, sleep in their eyes and say: "Hey, perfect." Dane Cook sleep funny cheating Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win. Dane Cook pain hurt winning I feel like the gods have certainly patted me on the head. Dane Cook feels I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot. Dane Cook laugh-out-loud loud laughing I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian. Dane Cook hecklers comedian My nickname for my mom was 'The Compass.' Dane Cook nicknames compass mom Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh. Dane Cook make-me-laugh laughing You've gotta share what's going on in your mind. Dane Cook share mind Anger has a way of seeping into every other emotion and planting itself in there. Dane Cook anger emotion way I grew up very self-loathing. I was a phobic. I had anxiety. I had panic attacks. Dane Cook panic-attacks anxiety self I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up. Dane Cook toasters today giving If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny. Dane Cook use say-anything funny I'm glad that my parents missed one thing that was really unbelievable. They saw me hit this great success. It was a blast and we had a lot of laughs. And it was just an amazing time. They passed away. And then after I got, you know, famous, all these haters came out of nowhere. Dane Cook saws parent laughing I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous. Dane Cook comedy spontaneity writing I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad. Dane Cook self sorry people My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor. Dane Cook sense-of-humor senses comedy