You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy. David Cross More Quotes by David Cross More Quotes From David Cross Because I think whenever you sit down with another human being who would absolutely disagree with you on every issue, you learn about them as a person and you relate, in human terms, and it's much more difficult for either side to dismiss out of hand, like that person's a freak, that person's a Nazi. David Cross issues hands thinking I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star. David Cross horse stars art If you want to reinstate the 14.4 billion dollars that Bush cut out of the veterans program then vote democrat. David Cross dollars democracy cutting I don't mean this to sound hyperbolic but there are increasingly, albeit really minor, similarities between now and how Germany was lulled into what happened pre-WW2. David Cross germany sound mean I don't think of my opponents in the sense that I don't think of them consciously, I don't steer it one way or the other. David Cross opponents way thinking It's just an easy catchall to describe a style because there are a lot of alternative comics who are completely different from each other. David Cross alternatives style different Hopefully people are upset for the reason I want them to be upset. Even when I was doing open mics, I've always had people upset. I've never been the consummate crowd-pleaser. David Cross upset crowds people I've never thought of myself as a hoity-toity cultural critic. David Cross critics I think I could have a funnier, more economic sets. But that's the comedy I do. And I understand if people aren't interested in it and would rather listen to someone else. But I'll never understand the anger people have toward me. David Cross comedy people thinking I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage. David Cross pieces writing mean As far as just my stand-up is concerned, I don't care about changing anyone's mind. I'm not making an argument. I'm a guy doing comedy. David Cross care guy mind I'm very vocal about my belief that all religion is garbage. Most of my friends are religious or at least spiritual. These are people I like and I know are intelligent. It's this thing that I carry around. I know I'd be a better person if I was fairer, but it's at the core of who I am and what I believe. David Cross religious spiritual believe There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally. David Cross alternatives writing funny I'm going to keep talking about what I think is interesting for my entire career. If you want to hear about how women do a lot of shoe shopping or how being married sucks, go see the guy who does jokes about that. But if you come to see my live show, there's going to be 20 minutes on religion for the rest of my life, probably. If that makes me a caricature, so be it. David Cross careers talking thinking There's quite an overlap between musicians - especially drummers - who have an affection and a proclivity towards comedy and comedians who fantasize about being in a band. And a lot of comics play instruments. David Cross comedian musician play I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous. David Cross angry jokes Religion triggers a lot of emotions in me, most of which stem from being raised Jewish in a very Baptist community in the South. I didn't believe any of it from an early age - the clubby quality of whatever religion or church you belonged to, Judaism included. It just struck me as foolish. David Cross me you quality age I don't think HBO would want to do anything in conjunction with Sub Pop but I never asked either. David Cross anything never think want It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny. David Cross more time trying funny Originally they wanted me to be Buster but I really like the Tobias part. David Cross really part like me