You don't need an alarm clock when you sleep with 20 models a night, one of those broads'll figure out that they better make breakfast in bed or I'll kill all of them. Zach Braff More Quotes by Zach Braff More Quotes From Zach Braff If I wasn't an actor? Hmm, I'd probably be a serial killer. I'm just so damn likeable, no one would ever suspect me. Zach Braff serial-killer killers actors Every single person wants to do it, don't hate me because I had the guts to follow my heart! Zach Braff hate want heart Yeah, I saw the guy running out of the building carrying a rifle, I just didn't say anything to the cops because I was so happy that I wasn't the one who got shot. Zach Braff guy say-anything running I believe the general consensus is the bigger it is, the more women flock to you. I guess its a good thing mine is HUGE! Zach Braff flocks good-things believe It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me? Zach Braff raises serious example I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning. Zach Braff hey dream morning The fact that 'Scrubs' is so popular in Israel is very important to me. I feel like I'm helping to cancel out the thousands of years of oppression the Jewish people have suffered. Zach Braff israel people years The Jews are just clumsy bakers. Zach Braff bakers clumsy jew Working on 'Scrubs' made me feel guilty because I realized that if I had decided to become an actual doctor, instead of just playing one, I could probably have found a cure to cancer within five years. Zach Braff cancer doctors years I mean, I understand that because they're disadvantaged that they deserve their own parking spots, but do they have to make them so wide? I never understood how these people were allowed to drive cars but they get these really neat chairs with wheels and they're still not happy, so instead of parking their wheelchairs in the designated spots, they upstage us normal people and get the best parking spots with vehicles that are clearly too sophisticated for them to be handling. Still, you should smile at a cripple, because it's the only bit of happiness they'll ever have. Zach Braff car mean people I'm grown ass man and grown ass men can do whatever they want, got it? Zach Braff ass want men The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the same as hitting your employee or wife, and the issue become pretty clear when you think about it that way. Zach Braff issues kids thinking If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred. Zach Braff inbreds blue yellow Ya know, Hitler was this evil, evil man. But with the World Bank and Israel manipulating America, he might have been on to something. Zach Braff israel men america I can't watch the news anymore. They have their priorities all out of whack. All I see is Natalee Holloway and Britney Spears and the war in Iraq. Where's the substantive news? Where's the Zach Braff coverage? Zach Braff priorities iraq war I could see why someone would want to make a website about me, and my quotes. They are all gold. How many people have written, directed AND starred in their own movies. I just don't know why they would want to put words into my mouth, I mean I did write, direct AND star in a critically acclaimed movie. Zach Braff stars writing mean I definitely try to play a common man in my roles so people can identify with my characters, but the truth of the matter is that it doesn't really matter what I do or my lines are, I'm still Zach Braff, and people know I'm better than them. Zach Braff play character men Am I really gonna deny someone the opportunity of a lifetime just because they met me 5 easters early? Zach Braff easter lifetime opportunity People still make New Year's resolutions? Wow. I figured those were pointless once I perfected myself by directing, writing, and acting in Garden State. I guess it makes sense, though. It gives people a chance to hope that they can become as great as me someday. Zach Braff new-year garden writing Let's face it, it's only called Scrubs because I'm saving 'Zach Braff' for my autobiography. Zach Braff autobiography saving faces
