You know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that four hundredth glass of cornershop piss at 3am, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...This is fantastic. I'm in heaven. Dylan Moran More Quotes by Dylan Moran More Quotes From Dylan Moran I do pauses, pauses work for me Dylan Moran pauses humor funny You're never going to go. Why would you go? It's a disgusting place. It's always wet even when it's dry. There's nothing there. Farmers aren't really people, you know this. They're just necessary, we need somebody to kill cows. Dylan Moran humor funny people Children are the most honest critics. They will say "You're funny", but also "You're pathetic - go away." Dylan Moran honest going-away children I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me. Dylan Moran humorous witty funny Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! Fry her!! Fry her!" Dylan Moran humor funny moving I have tried... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies. Dylan Moran rap funny believe I do not walk around imaging myself to be intimidating or smart. Dylan Moran intimidating smart walks Have I had therapy? I went to a yoga class once. Dylan Moran therapy yoga class What is universal can be surprising. Over time you find the kind of stuff which has people thinking 'That is just something that occurred to me there's something wrong with me', is in fact stuff that is universal. Dylan Moran stuff people thinking Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone. Dylan Moran phones humor funny You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex! Men are people that have sex BECAUSE they have a headache... or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is! Dylan Moran humor funny sex We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy. Dylan Moran situation writing joy My drive to put myself on the line comes from boredom. From that feeling when you go to bed and think, 'What did I do today?' It doesn't have to be something monumental, just a feeling that you really tried to look at something, or look into something. Dylan Moran boredom feelings thinking Adulthood feels like walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they bore you. Dylan Moran bores-you humor funny If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room, you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything. Dylan Moran rehearsal remember rooms If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a lift, I could write a better song on the walls. Dylan Moran wall song funny I fear we might be losing the basic human facility to be alone - and with that you throw out independent decision-making, what to trust, what not to trust; key stuff - a perilous loss. Dylan Moran independent keys loss I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything. Dylan Moran thinking You know, people sometimes say to me, 'Do you prefer to do this or that, act or do stand-up or write' but the thing that I enjoy most is the difference between all of them, because you're always learning. I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything. I'm actually lucky to have the chance to fail at all of them. Dylan Moran differences writing thinking I'm not drunk onstage, although I've done that a couple of times when I was younger. It's partly just the way I talk - I talk like somebody in a rocking chair. I'm your 150-year-old grandmother. Dylan Moran grandmother couple years
