You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave. Zach Galifianakis More Quotes by Zach Galifianakis More Quotes From Zach Galifianakis There was a long time where I was an "artist" in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend. Zach Galifianakis girlfriendartistlong Privacy is big for me. To do interviews even, I have a very love/hate with it. Zach Galifianakis privacyinterviewshate We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the "Girlfriend in a Coma" is, like, really funny. Zach Galifianakis girlfriendsongmean There's more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. I'm not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it's a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life. Zach Galifianakis stupidpeoplethinking I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food Zach Galifianakis arrivingimaginefeelings Reciting lines is hard; making stuff up is much, much easier. Zach Galifianakis easierlinesstuff My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions. Zach Galifianakis smellhumorfunny American society loves to prop people up and then take them down. Zach Galifianakis propsamerican-societypeople I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn't seem too preachy because you're also making people laugh, so it's really kind of a good tool for messaging. Zach Galifianakis powerfullaughingthinking Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious. Zach Galifianakis rudeness I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny. Zach Galifianakis tracklaughingthinking I'm Greek. My body produces feta cheese. Zach Galifianakis feta-cheesebodygreek I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective. Zach Galifianakis wigshumorfunny You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar. Zach Galifianakis gayhumorfunny Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person. Zach Galifianakis jointshatenew-york I think comedy is a really, really good tool for trying to say something. Zach Galifianakis toolstryingthinking I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called "God, I Hope That's a Mole." Zach Galifianakis humorfunnyreality My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis. Zach Galifianakis middlenames You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit. Zach Galifianakis fithumorfunny I love playing a curmudgeon. I just love playing a sour guy. Zach Galifianakis curmudgeonsourguy
