Your eyes flashed fire into my soul. I immediately read the words of Dostoyevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, I FANCY YOU! Eddie Izzard More Quotes by Eddie Izzard More Quotes From Eddie Izzard Never put a sock in a toaster. Eddie Izzard humorous witty funny The Pope is guarded by the Swiss guard who stand proudly in pajamas and silly hats. Eddie Izzard pajamas hats silly For me to put a look together, if it's going to be a boy look or a girl look or whatever, is quite a tricky thing to do. I'm not doing drag because drag is seen in a certain way and my comedy has got zero to do with what I'm wearing. I could wear an elephant suit and say the same thing. Eddie Izzard zero girl boys If you're trying to get a bit of attention, you can smash up your hotel room or spend all your time going to openings or doing the gossip column thing. I just decided to do gigs in French, German, Spanish, and in America. Eddie Izzard gossip trying america Cos people think I'm on drugs and I'm not. I'm really quite... Just a bit of coffee. When I take drugs I start going, Oh, would you like insurance? Eddie Izzard coffee people thinking I like my coffee hot and strong. Like I like my women: hot and strong...with a spoon in them. Eddie Izzard coffee strong hot America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome. Eddie Izzard empires rome america But the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana! Eddie Izzard dutch marijuana four This is a world that's big enough for everyone. I like that message in that comes out of John Lasseter, and it comes out Pixar, it comes out of the Apple, Google, the Ben and Jerry's thing. These are American companies that send that message around that is good, that is healthy. And everyone goes, "That's the America I always believed in before Watergate." Eddie Izzard apples healthy america Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance 'debilitating' drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the 100 metres, fair play for you. That's pretty good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance. Eddie Izzard swings distance winning My Gran said put a thimble on your finger and it helps you in case you slip with the needle and it goes up, into the brain, and death. Eddie Izzard said brain helping Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. Eddie Izzard scrabble funny kids I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over. Eddie Izzard causes running fall I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I'd change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear. Eddie Izzard taken dresses trying I'm an action transvestite really, so it's running, jumping, climbing trees putting on make-up when you're up there! Eddie Izzard climbing jumping running I saw something in a program on something in Miami, and they were saying, "We've redecorated this building to how it looked over 50 years ago!" And people were going, "No, surely not, no. No one was alive then." Eddie Izzard fake-people alive years It's not a bloody piano, it's a clarenARt...you weird talking person. Eddie Izzard piano music talking There's a thing about trying too hard, which I think is in all forms, which is if you really try to do things really well, you can get to a less good place than if you just let go and let it fly. Especially in creativity. Eddie Izzard creativity letting-go thinking I am two lesbians in a man's body. Eddie Izzard men funny two Danger could be my middle name... But it's John. Eddie Izzard middle danger names