James Veitch Professions : Comedian Browse All Authors Top 24 quotes by James Veitch I had an awkward moment when I got a phone call from the person pretending to be Winnie Mandela. 'Winnie' sounded about 12 years old, unfortunately - she'd probably been pushed to the telephone because she was the only one who spoke English. James Veitch phone-call phone person moment I get a ton of scam emails. But instead of deleting them, I decided to hit reply. James Veitch scam reply them get Just remember: if ever you feel weighed down by the bureaucracy and often mundanity of modern life, don't fight the frustration. Let it be the catalyst for whimsy. James Veitch feel fight you life Crazy stuff happens when you start replying to scam emails. It's really difficult, and I highly recommend we do it. James Veitch start you difficult crazy The Internet gave us access to everything; but it also gave everything access to us. James Veitch also us everything internet Most scams are absurd - so absurd that one wonders how anyone falls for them at all; yet if no one falls for them, how do the scammers make money? James Veitch wonders make how money I think of the spam folder not as Pandora's box but as a costume shop in which you can play and play at being whoever and whatever you wish. If only for a time. James Veitch think you wish time A lot of people see scammers as, like, just one guy in a basement with his computer, but actually, I think it's probably almost kind of a call centre. James Veitch see like think people Some of the best scams that you get are the ones that pretend to come from friends of yours, because you can just say anything you want, because a scammer has no idea about your relationship with that person. James Veitch best you friends relationship The marooned friend is one of the best-known scams, principally because it's the one that dodges the spam filter most often. It comes from someone you know but often only tangentially. It's since become - hands down - one of my favourite scams. James Veitch friend down you hands Don't get me wrong - I don't want to be mean to the scammers. There are lots of people online who do that. I'm content merely having fun inventing, and I figure any time they're spending with me is time in which they're not scamming vulnerable adults out of their savings. James Veitch me time fun people I woke up one morning to an email from my friend Alex that said she'd had her bag stolen. Ordinarily, I'm quite quick on the uptake, but - maybe because of the way it was worded - I immediately replied, 'What??????' As soon as I hit send, I realised I was being scammed. But then they replied, and I thought, 'Well, why not?' James Veitch bag friend morning way I've sent thousands of emails - the conversations in the book are just the success stories. James Veitch just stories success book I know some people whose father has basically spent their whole inheritance on scammers. He's old; he wants to feel important, like he's doing business, so he goes to his bank and pays out - it's terrifying. James Veitch feel business father people I suspect I wasn't loved enough as a child. James Veitch suspect loved child enough I'd really like to be able to whistle with two fingers. Is this a biological thing? Is it to do with the teeth? Who teaches people to do this? How do I learn? James Veitch how like teeth people My hobbies are playing piano and guitar, pining for girls, worrying about climate change, pining for girls, and the poetry of John Keats. James Veitch climate-change guitar poetry change I just feel so upset when I think of all the lost years when I could have been doing stand-up gigs. James Veitch doing feel think upset I do bits about dating but mainly about what I did and how incompetent I am, not any genuine people writing to me. James Veitch i-am me dating people You can succeed as a terrible director, but try doing that with stand-up: try being a terrible comedian and getting up on stage. The funny will win out very, very quickly. James Veitch win you succeed funny Similar Authors Bob Hope comedian Brent Weinbach comedian Buddy Hackett comedian Bruce Baum comedian Brother Theodore comedian Brother Dave Gardner comedian All Authors
