Ron Funches Professions : Comedian Born : March 12, 1983 Browse All Authors Top 28 quotes by Ron Funches Raising a child is like taking care of someone who's on way too many shrooms, while you yourself are on a moderate amount of shrooms. I am not confident in my decisions, but I know you should not be eating a mousepad. Ron Funches confidence parenting children I'm a geek of all general types. I like a little bit of everything, I love comic books, I love pro-wrestling, I love video games. Ron Funches games wrestling book Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.' Ron Funches best me situation funny I look forward to going to Chicago because it's where I grew up, and the food there is so munch. Especially during the winter, I get deep dish pizza or Italian beef, and it warms me up. It's something I don't normally get, especially here in L.A. where you're always trying to be healthy. Ron Funches me you winter food That's one thing I love about my son - he's just a gamer at heart, he loves everything. He'll still play 'Pole Position,' or just old things at an arcade. He just loves games. He's not a graphics snob at all. I love him. Ron Funches gamer heart love son I think I'd probably be really good friends with Hulk Hogan. I think we'd get along, and I'd, like, chill him out because he'd be all rambunctious and rowdy, and I'd be like, 'Chill out, Hulk Hogan. Everything will be okay.' And he'd be like, 'Thanks, Ron.' And then we'd form a friendship. Ron Funches good friends chill friendship I'm sauteing asparagus, Brussels sprouts,broccoli, some boneless, skinless chicken breast, some halibut. That's about it; that's all I'm allowed. That's what's legal for me to saute. Ron Funches chicken legal some me I love a good Roy Rogers or Shirley Temple, and I had to give those up. And Philly cheesesteaks. I love Philly cheesesteaks, and now they really aren't around anymore. Ron Funches temple now good love When you get to be a certain size as a man, all the shirts end up having giant dogs on them or things like that! Ron Funches end things you man The worst job I ever had was working as a Lady Liberty sign-twirler for a tax services place, where I'd just dance and have fun. The way I talk about it makes it sounds like a fun job - but then I got a staph infection from the costume. So that was probably the worst part about it. Ron Funches have-fun place job dance We all have enemies, but my enemies would probably describe me as surprisingly ruthless. Ron Funches enemies describe me ruthless I think that's the difference between meetings in New York and L.A. In New York, it's like, 'Be there, and be there on time.' In L.A. it's like, 'Oh, we get it. You might have ran into traffic. We'll reschedule.' Ron Funches new think you time Denver has smart and energetic crowds that appreciate good comedy and don't take themselves too seriously. Ron Funches good comedy smart appreciate I was always interested in comedy, like when I was 5 years old. I watched 'I Love Lucy' and 'Benny Hill.' I would always joke around with my sister. My mom was into comedy, too. She would go to the video store and get a couple of movies and some stand-up comedians' tapes. Ron Funches hill sister mom love My mom could afford to put us in a Catholic school for grades one through seven, but not after that. Ron Funches us grades mom school My comedy is kind of a counteraction to some of the comedy I don't like. Or things I don't like. Ron Funches some things like comedy Trying to maintain your health on the road can be difficult. Especially in the middle of the country where they close by 9 and you're not out of work until midnight. You end up at a McDonald's or Taco Bell. Ron Funches road you health work My breakfast is usually some oatmeal and berries and some agave, or a protein shake. Ron Funches shake some protein breakfast If I'm super scared or sick, I'll still suck my thumb. Ron Funches suck still scared sick Doing five-minute sets on 'Conan' and things like that are fun and a great way to introduce yourself, but it's such a constricting time, and you usually have to cut bits down. Ron Funches yourself great you time Similar Authors Bob Hope comedian Brent Weinbach comedian Buddy Hackett comedian Bruce Baum comedian Brother Theodore comedian Brother Dave Gardner comedian All Authors
