Quotes by Funny Inspirational Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did - that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that - a parent's heart bared, beating forever outside its chest. Debra Ginsberg funny-inspirational mom children Lotto fever hit New York again this week, and like the old saying goes, 'You gotta be in it to win it'... but first, you gotta have a dead end job so pathetic you're willing to kill five hours standing in line for a 1 in 25 million chance. Dennis Miller funny-inspirational new-york jobs I sometimes think, would I drink the milk from the breast of a woman I don't know? No. So I think, why would I drink it from a cow? Devon Aoki funny-inspirational cows thinking Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them. Dick Van Dyke funny-inspirational women success Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues: always insist on it in your subordinates. Don Marquis funny-inspirational business work Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind. Donald Knuth following-instructions funny-inspirational reading Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it. Donald Knuth funny-inspirational bugs computer In my world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies! Dr. Seuss funny-inspirational butterfly teacher So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads. Dr. Seuss funny-inspirational beautiful life Poor empty pants With nobody inside them. Dr. Seuss funny-inspirational empty pants I’m glad we had the times together just to laugh and sing a song, seems like we just got started and then before you know it, the times we had together were gone. Dr. Seuss funny-inspirational song life If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I wouldn't show up. Dr. Seuss funny-inspirational party character People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool. Elayne Boosler funny-inspirational baby people Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost. Ellen DeGeneres funny-motivational funny-inspirational graduation It must be around forty, when you're "over the hill." I don't even know what that means and why it's a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I'm past the hard part and there's a snack in my future. That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned. Ellen DeGeneres funny-inspirational mean past All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. Erma Bombeck funny-inspirational parenting children The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean. Erma Bombeck funny-inspirational college football According to the group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, fish have feelings too. Whenever my sons go fishing they always tell me, "Dad it doesn't hurt a fish to get hooked." Well I watch and I see and I believe it's painful for the fish. Donald Trump funny-inspirational dad hurt You never came out the way you came in. Francis Spufford funny-inspirational inspirational funny You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. Franklin P. Adams funny-inspirational patience baby «123456789»