Quotes by Girlfriend I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny. Dane Cook get-better girlfriend thinking Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT. Dane Cook comedian giants girlfriend When you are not missing something, longing for something, you don't really think about it that much. It's like that girlfriend you don't want to have anymore. You don't think about her anymore. Or ex-husband. You just don't. Danica Patrick girlfriend husband thinking I want my next girlfriend to be my wife. Daniel Matsunaga girlfriend wife want Realizing that other people have a problem with [homosexuality] was the weirdest thing for me. As a kid it wasn't even something that was mentioned. It was never something that was even explained to me. It was just, "That's Mark and he's gay." Mark was just another friend of my dad's who would talk about his boyfriend instead of his girlfriend. I was 5. I didn't care. It seemed perfectly normal, and still does. Daniel Radcliffe dad girlfriend kids You know your girlfriend is too young when she'll do everything in bed but go upside down because it's too scary. Daniel Tosh girlfriend scary funny I don't know, maybe I'm immature, but I still find it funny if I dump cold water on my girlfriend when she's in the shower. Daniel Tosh girlfriend water funny I was 14 and madly in love for the first time. He was 21. He made me suddenly, unaccustomedly beautiful with his kisses and mix tapes. During the year of elation and longing, he never mentioned that he had a girlfriend who lived across the street. Daphne Gottlieb kissing girlfriend beautiful I have so many girlfriends in their twenties who live in a white box apartment, having mediocre meals with mediocre friends, waiting for the life they want to hit them in their forties or fifties. They are settling in the now - what's the point? Daphne Oz girlfriend white waiting In her excellent, entirely readable Richard Wright, Hazel Rowley accomplishes what [previous biographer] Michel Fabre would have liked to do with once-guarded letters, aging witnesses, previously unidentified girlfriends. . . . Mostly, Rowley concentrates on telling Wright's very powerful story. Darryl Pinckney girlfriend powerful stories Hey, I'm going to Super Dog for a quick bite and to pass along a message from a dead guy to his girlfriend. You should come with me." "I can't go with you." "Is it because of my questionable morals?" "No, it's because it's three o'clock in the afternoon and I have to pick up Amber from school." "Oh, right. So the morals thing doesn't bother you? Darynda Jones girlfriend dog school I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming No, that's not what I said! Dave Attell girlfriend said sometimes Everything you do, burns calories. Getting up in the morning, 100 calories; kicking the hooker out of your bed, another 100; diapering your monkey, 35 calories; laughing at a midget, fun and 10 calories; catching your girlfriend with another guy, 2000-3000 calories, depending on backswings. Dave Attell girlfriend morning funny I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I've discovered? I need a girlfriend. Dave Attell girlfriend discovery funny My students used to say, one such as Mary O'Neal, that I identified the students by their boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. That was the way I knew them and keep up with them. Mary was the girlfriend of Stokely Carmichael. She later became a fine painter of distinction and taught at the San Francisco Art Institute, and later became chairman of the Department of Art at Berkeley. David C. Driskell san-francisco girlfriend art Everyone was talking about having airplanes disappear. And I said, "Wait, wait, wait. That's what you like? I'd tell you a story about something like my girlfriend leaving me, and the magic was really hard. The airplane thing was comparatively easy, and people liked that thing?" I realized at that moment, the power of the simple idea. David Copperfield airplane girlfriend simple All my friends are always telling me how hard it is to have kids. 'Oh, David, it's so hard.' That's not hard. I'll tell you what hard is. Try talking your girlfriend into her third consecutive abortion. Yeah, that's hard, that takes finesse. You're just inconvenienced. David Cross girlfriend humor funny It was only after I untied my girlfriend from being face down on the bed that I learned her screaming, 'Asshole!' was a statement about my character and not an invitation or request. David Henry girlfriend bed character We smoked a lot of weed together [with Seth Rogen and Jason Segel]. Lonely potheads will literally spend every day with each other until they get a girlfriend. That's essentially what happened. David Krumholtz weed girlfriend lonely Music is like girlfriends to me; I'm continually astonished by the choices other people make. David Lee Roth girlfriend music humorous «7891011121314151617»
