All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. Fran Lebowitz More Quotes by Fran Lebowitz More Quotes From Fran Lebowitz If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better. Fran Lebowitz venice ifs I hate writing. I will do anything to avoid it. The only way I could write less was if I was dead. Fran Lebowitz Polite conversation is rarely either. Fran Lebowitz witty inspirational funny Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat. Fran Lebowitz funny children cheating Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back. Fran Lebowitz literature want firsts If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct. Fran Lebowitz serious literature children In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy. Fran Lebowitz democracy literature country Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word "collectible" as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success. Fran Lebowitz growing-up stars children If food did not exist it would be well-nigh impossible to get certain types off the phone, as one would be unable to say, 'Look, I've got to run but let's have dinner sometime soon.' Fran Lebowitz dinner phones running No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. Fran Lebowitz pet dog animal The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat. Fran Lebowitz tables fame writing Sleep is death without the responsibility. Fran Lebowitz responsibility sleep Food is an important part of a balanced diet. Fran Lebowitz witty life funny Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. Fran Lebowitz cutting vegetables food Communism requires of its adherents that they arise early and participate in a strenuous round of calisthenics. To someone who wishes that cigarettes came already lit the thought of such exertion at an hour when decent people are just nodding off is thoroughly abhorrent. Fran Lebowitz abhorrent wish people Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography. Fran Lebowitz problem writing sex Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. I love to smoke. Smoking is fun. Smoking is cool. Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult. It makes growing up genuinely worthwhile. I am quite well aware of the hazards of smoking. Smoking is not a healthful pastime, it is true. Smoking is indeed no bracing dip in the ocean, no strenuous series of calisthenics, no two laps around the reservoir. On the other hand, smoking has to its advantage the fact that is a quiet pursuit. Smoking is, in effect a dignified sport. Fran Lebowitz growing-up fun sports If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum. Fran Lebowitz giving children enemy American women think that clothes fit them if they can fit into them. But that's not at all what fit means. Fran Lebowitz clothes mean thinking Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs. Fran Lebowitz women humor funny
