All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow. Evan Esar More Quotes by Evan Esar More Quotes From Evan Esar Many an actor does the stage more ham than good. Evan Esar ham actors doe Don't tear your hair out over a woman; it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald. Evan Esar next tears hair Next time a man tells you talk is cheap, ask him if he knows how much a session of Congress costs. Evan Esar next cost men The little boy who goes to the store and forgets what his mother sent him for, will probably grow up to be a congressman. Evan Esar growing-up mother boys Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied. Evan Esar denial rumor believe After wisdom comes wit. Evan Esar wit wisdom There is nothing more dignified than a corpse. Evan Esar corpses dignity Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing. Evan Esar enjoy play The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck. Evan Esar amputation necks way Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure. Evan Esar doctors research done A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond Evan Esar care girl long A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty. Evan Esar dictator empty problem Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose. Evan Esar eye ears noses Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done. Evan Esar done said Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us. Evan Esar admiration delight feelings You can always tell the golfer who's winning: he's the one who keeps telling his opponent that it's only a game. Evan Esar opponents games winning Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars. Evan Esar car exercise people Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer. Evan Esar steady girl men We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth. Evan Esar length volunteer depth Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him. Evan Esar ministers regret husband