An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die. Darynda Jones More Quotes by Darynda Jones More Quotes From Darynda Jones I'd never taken to four foot creatures who had the uncanny ability to point out all my flaws in thirty second flat. And just for the record, I can too read without moving my lips. Darynda Jones taken feet moving Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons. Darynda Jones dad daughter nice My calculations - allowing for a 12 percent margin of error, based on the radius of the corresponding confidence interval and the surgeon general's warning - concluded that they probably didn't stay behind for the tacos. Darynda Jones tacos errors warning Oh, my god!" I said, throwing my hands over my eyes and hurtling my body against the counter. "What?" "You're naked." "I'm not naked." "I'm blind." "You're not blind. I'm wearing pants." "Oh." That was embarrassing. Darynda Jones naked eye hands Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe. Darynda Jones believe people looks He seemed determines, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possible Milk Duds. Darynda Jones tact resolve milk I love children, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.- Bumper sticker Darynda Jones bumper-sticker children thinking I suck at all this supernatural stuff. But I fry a mean chicken. Oh, good. I hate it when the nice ones get fried. Darynda Jones nice hate mean Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work. Darynda Jones funny-life paperwork paper What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito. Darynda Jones debauchery madness mean Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch. Darynda Jones lunch hair kids I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies. Darynda Jones sanity I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that. Darynda Jones multitasking scratches eyebrows Oh, my god!” I said to Reyes, my eyes radiating accusations at him. “She took your picture? Just what kind of game are you playing? You’re under arrest, mister.” His mouth tilted and a dimple emerged on one cheek as I took his wrist and threw him against a wall. Or, well, urged him toward it. I held him against the cool wood with one hand and frisked him with the other. Darynda Jones wall eye hands My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me. Darynda Jones disorder goal life-is Since I had a soft spot for zombies and my curiosity was killing me, I opted for plan Z. Darynda Jones zombie killing curiosity That's my entire weekend. I had plans" "A Vampire Dairies marathon is not plans." She looked at me like I lost my mind. "Have you even seen the Salvatore brothers? Holy mother of gingersnaps. Darynda Jones weekend brother mother I had a horrible feeling my leg was broken. If it wasn’t, it had a lot of explaining to do. Darynda Jones legs broken feelings Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows? Darynda Jones cows drs race Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird. Darynda Jones albuquerque okay police