And don't put a rose in my hand. Put a slim-jim in it. Send me to heaven with a slim-jim! Bill Engvall More Quotes by Bill Engvall More Quotes From Bill Engvall If you're just a nice guy - you don't let people walk on you - but if you're just a nice guy and treat people right, good things happen. Bill Engvall walkgoodyoupeople I love to laugh, and laughter is one of my favorite things. When you have a really good laugh, you feel great afterwards. Bill Engvall greatgoodyoulove My favorite road trip ever is when my wife and I took an RV around the country. We just had the best time. Bill Engvall roadbestwifetime I came out of the mall one day, and a guy was standing there with a coat hanger in his window, and I couldn't stop myself. I asked the stupid question. 'You lock your keys in the car?' 'Nope, just washed it, gonna hang it up to dry.' Bill Engvall daymyselfyoucar I learned that you don't take dishes from the table to the dishwasher; you have to rinse them first. I think that's stupid because I don't go out in the back yard and hose off before taking a shower. Bill Engvall gothinkyoustupid I eat fish, chicken, vegetables and other healthier foods. I do love a great steak. Bill Engvall fishchickengreatlove I think you can ban guns if you can just pull the trigger and 60 bullets fire out. Bill Engvall gunsthinkyoufire There's a reason God didn't give me this success in my 20s, because I'd have blown it. Bill Engvall megodreasonsuccess I haven't been really nervous about a gig in a long time. Bill Engvall long-timenervoustimelong It's fun being Bill Engvall. Bill Engvall billbeingfun Left to my own vices, all I would own is a Corvette, and it would be broken down. Bill Engvall downownmy-ownbroken I'd like to see the Amazon rainforests before they're all gone, and also the Galapagos - that's another one I'd like to do. I'd love to go diving in those areas. Basically, places, like, that are kind of going away, and I'd like to see them before they all become condos and high-rises. Bill Engvall goseelikelove Europe has such an expansive history. Bill Engvall expansiveeuropehistory I travel fairly lightly because you have to these days. I always take a laptop and an iPod so I can watch movies and listen to music. And my Gameboy. That's a good time-killer. Bill Engvall goodyoumusictravel When I drove up on the set one day, and they'd put up a sign that says 'The Bill Engvall Show,' I stood there for 20 minutes just staring at it. The director, James Widdoes, came up and said, 'What are you doing?' And I said, 'Look at this! There's my name on a stage door in Hollywood!' Bill Engvall namedaylookyou If you watch the 'Blue Collar Tour,' I was probably the least redneck of everybody. Bill Engvall touryouredneckblue My goal is for 'The Bill Engvall Show' to be a show the networks look at and say, 'Ooh, maybe we should get back to the family sitcom.' Bill Engvall saybacklookfamily You know as well as I do that the family sitcom was the stalwart of TV for God knows how many decades. Bill Engvall knowyoufamilygod People are trying to figure out how to pay bills and make ends meet. They don't want to turn on the TV and say, 'What is this crap?' Bill Engvall meetwanttryingpeople It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy. Bill Engvall meyoufunnypeople
