As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, "Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete." Bob Hope More Quotes by Bob Hope More Quotes From Bob Hope Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent . . . he's not rich enough to be a Republican. Bob Hope humorousgodfunny It's amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn't sell theirs threw them away. Bob Hope next-daypeopletelevision The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent's handshake. Bob Hope tiredwaterfunny It sure has been a pleasure for us to broadcast for the sailors and soldiers; besides, its part of the National Defence Program to prepare our boys for anything. Bob Hope soldiersailorboys You know, marriage is making a big comeback. I know personally that in Hollywood people are marrying people they never married before. Bob Hope marriedhollywoodpeople You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers. Bob Hope fingersringsage The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage. Bob Hope humorgivingfunny The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. Bob Hope souphumorousisrael If they liked you, they didn't applaud -- they let you live. Bob Hope ifs I have too much money invested in sweaters. Bob Hope sweaterstoo-much If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about. Bob Hope ballsworrygolf I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half. Bob Hope luckygirlbeautiful Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark! Bob Hope congratulationsdarkhouse We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot. Bob Hope playspringgolf Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags. Bob Hope bagsgolffirsts Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless. Bob Hope one-linespeechlessyears I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on the back of a dinosaur. Bob Hope humorousgolffunny Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole. Bob Hope lastsninegolf Your ignorance cramps my conversation Bob Hope crampsignoranceconversation I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type. Bob Hope best-funnyageblood
