Childhood was very nice. The only thing wrong was that I was so introverted, everything became a big deal... 'Oh, no, here comes the bus. Where am I gonna sit on the bus?' Steven Wright More Quotes by Steven Wright More Quotes From Steven Wright How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? Steven Wright gun humor funny Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait." Steven Wright humor funny thinking I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet? Steven Wright ice humor funny If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses. Steven Wright computer humor funny I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. Steven Wright reading life funny If God dropped acid, would he see people? Steven Wright dropping-acid humor funny If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too? Steven Wright humor swim funny When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving. Steven Wright humor real funny What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way? Steven Wright humor funny looks Whatever happened to preparations A through G? Steven Wright preparation humor funny Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor. Steven Wright cattle sense-of-humor laughing My socks DO match. They're the same thickness. Steven Wright thickness humor funny All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. Steven Wright cat insanity people Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. Steven Wright witty funny country I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child. Steven Wright keys two children I have a large sea shell collection which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen it. Steven Wright shells sea beach Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero. Steven Wright black zero math Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane? Steven Wright parks honor mind Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. Steven Wright sarcasm cat sarcastic A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. Steven Wright laughter witty funny
