Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function. Victor Borge More Quotes by Victor Borge More Quotes From Victor Borge Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad. Victor Borge never-forget remember happiness Laughter is the closest distance between two people. Victor Borge cute inspirational relationship A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight. Victor Borge smile curves And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that. Victor Borge debussy saloons play Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year. Victor Borge christmas witty funny One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace. Victor Borge fire home father Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth. Victor Borge logic humor men I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it. Victor Borge aging growing mind Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos. Victor Borge legs piano people Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government. Victor Borge laughter government eye I do not have a single white note on my piano; my elephant smoked too much. Victor Borge piano elephants white What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. Victor Borge distance laughter two In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say. Victor Borge youth found wanted The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him. Victor Borge music humorous funny I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so. Victor Borge request has-beens courses I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year. Victor Borge money sarcastic funny In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite. Victor Borge masters dream heaven Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger. Victor Borge music humorous funny The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer. Victor Borge sarcasm sarcastic funny I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator? Victor Borge factory-workers eggs music
