Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham. Garrison Keillor More Quotes by Garrison Keillor More Quotes From Garrison Keillor We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass. Garrison Keillor strugglebelievepeople A person cannot coast along in old destructive habits year after year and accept whatever comes along. A person must stand up on her own two legs and walk. Get off the bus and go get on another. Climb out of the ditch and cross the road. Find the road that s where you want to go. ... The only sermon that counts is the one that is formed by our actions. She would quit drinking and thereby show Kyle life is what you make it. A person can grab hold of her life and change things for the better. This happens all the time. We are not chips of wood drifting down the stream of time. We have oars. Garrison Keillor drinkingtwoyears God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. Garrison Keillor encouraginglifefunny They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. Garrison Keillor nicefunnydeath Travel is the art form available to Everyman. You sit in the coffee shop in a strange city and nobody knows who you are, or cares, and so you shed your checkered past and your motley credentials and you face the day unarmed ... And onward we go and some day in the distant future, we will stop and turn around in astonishment to see all the places we've been and the heroes we were. Garrison Keillor herotravelart Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people. Garrison Keillor vanitygreedpeople It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars. Garrison Keillor adversityinspirationallife The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, misanthropic frat boys, shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, nihilists in golf pants, brownshirts in pinstripes, sweatshop tycoons. ... Republicans: The No. 1 reason the rest of the world thinks we're deaf, dumb, and dangerous. Garrison Keillor partychristiangolf One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining. Garrison Keillor orderbookthinking God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention. Garrison Keillor godplayattention Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places. Garrison Keillor fourintelligenthumor When writing loses touch with the beautiful surface of the world, it loses its way. You always want to be in touch with how things look and what people say and what they call their dogs. Garrison Keillor dogwritingbeautiful It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming. Garrison Keillor empiresluxuryair Some people think it is difficult to be a Christian and to laugh, but I think it's the other way around. God writes a lot of comedy, its just that he has so many bad actors. Garrison Keillor christianwritingthinking I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us. Garrison Keillor churchlustthinking A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. Garrison Keillor christmaslovefunny A book is a gift you can open again and again. Garrison Keillor christmasthank-youhappiness The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the ground, snorts, runs them off into the underbrush, but when his daughter puts her arm over his shoulder and says, 'Daddy, I need to ask you something,' he is a pat of butter in a hot frying pan. Garrison Keillor fathers-daydaughterrunning Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. Garrison Keillor single-parenthoveringchildren Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody. Garrison Keillor shine-onshininggrace
