Eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions god's infinite love. Bill Hicks More Quotes by Bill Hicks More Quotes From Bill Hicks I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes] Bill Hicks dealssaluteamerica Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass. Bill Hicks assmiracleeating In Australia...they celebrate Easter the same...by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit...left chocolate eggs in the night Bill Hicks easternightchildren The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions Bill Hicks doctorshumorfunny It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know? Bill Hicks life-changingdrinkingnight As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people. Bill Hicks responsibilitylongpeople I was in Australia....Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den....think of the parties. Bill Hicks australiapartythinking We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right? Bill Hicks revolutionary-ideasthumbsgrowing Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years. Bill Hicks agepeopleyears See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you've got the money! Bill Hicks united-statesexpressionamerica Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury. Bill Hicks dustbinyesterday I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind's sole purpose on this planet. Bill Hicks purposeorderbelieve I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin' [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] 'good evening everybody, remember me, smoking's bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww. You ever seen somebody do that? I've seen someone do that. Let me tell you something — if you're smoking out of a hole in your neck [mimics it again] I'd think about quitting. And that's just me, ya know. Bill Hicks smokingyearsthinking Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus. Bill Hicks storiestodayjesus I've said all that I've had to say. Bill Hicks last-wordssaid Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern. Bill Hicks patternsraysdoe What are you reading for? Bill Hicks reading Nonsmokers--this is for you and you only. Ready? Nonsmokers die every day. Sleep tight. Bill Hicks readydiessleep I was a weekend drinker...I'd start on Saturday, end on Friday...thought I was controlling it...but I don't drink any more. Bill Hicks drinkweekendfriday Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like he rushed it. Bill Hicks humorfunnybelieve
