Fall down. Make a mess. Break something occasionally. Know that your mistakes are your own unique way of getting to where you need to be. And remember that the story is never over. Conan O'Brien More Quotes by Conan O'Brien More Quotes From Conan O'Brien Yesterday, the Pentagon warned U.S. reporters that they should get out of Baghdad as soon as possible because the U.S. could attack at any time. Then the Pentagon added, 'Whatever you do, don't tell Geraldo.' Conan O'Brien baghdad should yesterday A new report just came out that says President Obama has mentioned Jesus Christ in more speeches than President Bush did. Can you believe that? Still, neither has used the phrase 'Oh God, oh God,' more than President Clinton. Conan O'Brien president believe jesus President Obama made a big speech. He welcomed the members of the U.N. General Assembly to New York, and he said, 'I'd like to encourage you to do some shopping while you're here.' I think it worked because China immediately bought eight banks, two car companies, and the state of Wyoming. Conan O'Brien eight new-york thinking Members of the Senate are considering a tax on cosmetic surgery. When they brought it up, you should have seen the look that Nancy Pelosi's face tried to make. Conan O'Brien cosmetics should-have looks President Obama says he will not support a healthcare plan where the government gets to decide whether to, quote, 'pull the plug on Grandma.' Apparently, Obama's plan calls for the much quicker pillow option. Conan O'Brien support grandma government My favorite comedy is comedy where nothing is achieved and there is no point. Conan O'Brien no-point my-favorite comedy It's a mistake to read. Television is the only way. Conan O'Brien mistake television way The top two movies at the box office this weekend were 'High School Musical 3' and 'Saw V.' One movie features gruesome onscreen torture that is difficult to watch and the other is about a guy with a saw. Conan O'Brien weekend two school According to some reports coming out of Washington today, President Obama said Kanye West is a 'jackass.' Not since 'yes, we can' has Obama found a slogan so many Americans can get behind. Conan O'Brien yes-we-can president today I've always believed, in my heart of hearts, that it would be a better show if, when I crossed over to the desk, the band kept playing for an hour and I danced in a cage. Conan O'Brien band would-be heart I told graduates to not be afraid to fail, and I still believe that. But today I tell you that whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come. The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality. Conan O'Brien disappointment inspirational believe Rev. Pat Robertson says that if more states legalize gay marriage, God will destroy America. He did say that afterwards, gays will come in and do a beautiful renovation. Conan O'Brien gay beautiful america Lenscrafters is upset with Tea Partier Michele Bachmann because she called Planned Parenthood 'the Lenscrafters of abortion.' Lenscrafters released a statement today calling her 'the Costco of crazy.' Conan O'Brien upset abortion crazy A new report reveals that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie spent over $82,000 on food at NFL games. Christie said, 'Hey, both of those games went into overtime.' Conan O'Brien jersey nfl games Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen. Conan O'Brien motivational inspirational funny When all else fails there's always delusion. Conan O'Brien delusion absurd failing When it comes to being visionary in stealing, the Republicans do better than anybody. It's really something to see. Conan O'Brien visionaries republican financial Toyota has announced it will start integrating Microsoft technology into their vehicles. It's perfect for the person who wants a car that crashes every ten minutes. Conan O'Brien technology perfect funny A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other hand, would be willing to have sex with the remote for the TV. Conan O'Brien giving-up funny sex It's a good thing I was born in this century, when superfluous television seems to be part of the economy. Conan O'Brien economy good-things television
