Figure out what to do, then take a nap. Adam Carolla More Quotes by Adam Carolla More Quotes From Adam Carolla There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian. Adam Carolla cancer atheist christian If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not. Adam Carolla ifs walking museums I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is. Adam Carolla healthcare fields thinking Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name? Adam Carolla creative names sleep The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live. Adam Carolla car knowing travel Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck. Adam Carolla bucks saving focus I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make. Adam Carolla should feelings trying If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of. Adam Carolla humor funny ideas That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever? Adam Carolla philosophical humor funny I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with. Adam Carolla ill-will office people I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself. Adam Carolla plenty want I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none. Adam Carolla humor funny two Mmm, tastes like hepatitis! Adam Carolla humor taste funny A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing. Adam Carolla successful mean thinking Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes. Adam Carolla taxes feels pay I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee. Adam Carolla coffee soccer thinking If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed. Adam Carolla tuning humor funny I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care. Adam Carolla connections hollywood care My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars. Adam Carolla building car life-is Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average. Adam Carolla batting delusional average
