He opened a window in my heart, and the light of the world shined in. David Letterman More Quotes by David Letterman More Quotes From David Letterman In a recent interview, Howard Dean admitted that he used to drink and smoke pot. So, now all he needs to put him over the top is a sex scandal. David Letterman scandal sex needs We are starting to learn more about Osama bin Laden. For his birthday one year, somebody gave him a $4 Timex. We know that. He is married to the daughter of a guy named Mullah Muhammed Omar. I think her name is Tiffany Omar. Insiders say that the marriage is not working out. Apparently they are living in separate caves. David Letterman daughter years thinking When Martha gets out she'll be under house arrest in her big $40 million mansion in Bedford. Boy, that'll teach her. She's only allowed out of the house for doctors visits, grocery shopping, or to dump more stock. David Letterman shopping doctors boys President Obama is sending a couple hundred troops to Iraq. We spent six years trying to figure a way to get out of Iraq. And now we're back. But this time there is an exit strategy. Barack Obama has an exit strategy. In 2016, he's gone. David Letterman iraq couple years Because you think an explosion has taken place and you're looking at the shards and you say, 'Well, can we put this back together?' And by God, maybe you can put it back together. And maybe it won't be the same, but maybe it will be different, and maybe it can even be better in a different way. David Letterman taken together thinking A pair of ruby red slippers worn by Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz have been stolen. The thief is described as being armed and fabulous. David Letterman wizards thieves rubies I think the one thing I would point to as a primary reason, basically, is that I was a gigantic ass, ... It's the first time I got dumped in my life. David Letterman ass firsts thinking I know you're on the Atkins diet, but could you stop eating bacon during sex? David Letterman eating knows sex The winner of the Westminster Dog Show gets to drink champagne - out of the toilet. David Letterman winner toilets dog In just a few minutes, my son will have completed his first trip around the sun. David Letterman sun son firsts Incredible experience, watching a baby birth on the internet. It's now my screensaver. David Letterman internet birth baby That's the first thing they teach you in bowling, by the way. Don't press the ball against your nose. The other one is don't lick the pins. David Letterman balls noses way It was stupid behaviour. And you take a look at the explosion, and it knocks you down and you wake up every morning and you're scared and you're depressed and sad, and you kind of got to let that knock you down and knock you down. David Letterman stupid morning looks I got some good news earlier today before the show. Thanks to Alex Rodriguez, I am no longer the most overpaid disappointment in New York City. David Letterman disappointment cities new-york I've had nothing but great friendship to help me through this. David Letterman great-friendship great-friend helping Here's what the kids get. They get free McDonald's and Kentucky Fried Chicken for a year, and 52 six-packs of Pepsi. And I'm thinking, well, actually, it might be healthier if they were taking steroids. David Letterman kentucky kids thinking Obesity is now a problem in the navy. They've created a new rank: Really Big Rear Admiral. David Letterman obesity navy problem Ted Kennedy is endorsing John Kerry and I'm wondering, do you really want the endorsement of a guy with a Bloody Mary mustache? David Letterman mustache guy want United Airlines: Passengers are our worst enemy. We're not too fond of luggage either. David Letterman airline united worst-enemy Arnold Schwarzenegger met with President Bush. It's amazing if you think about it. It was the Terminator and the One-Term-inator. David Letterman schwarzenegger president thinking
